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Cheaters

cheatersSo, what’s your take on cheaters? Harsh label, huh? I felt kind of judgmental just typing it. But, that’s what it is, right? Cheating.

I’m writing about cheating in my new book and I’ve got to tell you, the topic has cropped up in conversations more than once before  with my friends. One is a professed cheater. She knew it was wrong, but the situation presented itself, and she crossed the line of integrity…honesty, and morality. Which begs the question, is it situational or do you think it’s somewhat of a person’s makeup? Whether it be environmental or chemical. Like alcoholism. No matter what, the person can’t stay committed to one person. My other friend is like this; she’s a habitual cheater. It doesn’t concern her that she’s exclusive with someone, if another cuter guy walks into the room, she becomes single. Who could trust a person like this? Sadly, the guy never knows until it’s too late that she’s made up this way. And furthermore, is the cheater capable of changing? Capable of being reformed? Can they ever be trusted again? It’s not like we can do a scientific truth study. We can’t tag their ears and follow them like bears in the wild. And, who can trust what they say to be true?

In the book I’m writing, the girl has no trust issues with her cheater. She figures it was a one time thing and it won’t happen anymore. But, if you were the one who was cheated on, could you ever trust that person again? I don’t think I could. Even the one friend who it was situational, she’s done it once… what makes you think she wouldn’t again? And, what about everyone for that matter? Isn’t everyone capable of it? What separates someone from crossing the line? A vow? I suppose if the vow means what it should. Some people even think that if your thoughts veer toward someone else, it’s the same as cheating. Is anyone that pure not to have one solitary impure thought about someone other than their significant other?

I read a news story where the secretary was suing her employer for being fired. His response was that if she continued to work there it might jeopardize his fidelity to his wife. If I’m not mistaken, I think he won the suit. Crazy how truthful he was. I’m not sure how I’d feel as his spouse. Hmm…he was attracted enough to fire the lady? Does that mean he’s less attracted to me? Of course that’s what I’d think. Not, bravo for clearing that explosive possibility. What a slippery slope!

My boyfriend’s point of view is that you choose to cheat. Well, sure, that’s true enough. But, isn’t there sometimes an element of accident in it, too? I’m certainly not condoning the accidental theory, just presenting it as a viewpoint.

Any thoughts?

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2 thoughts on “Cheaters”

  1. I believe that there are some habitual cheaters out there that say that they “can’t help themselves”, which is just a lack of self-control. I also think that some of us may be tested by temptation. It may not be your intention to cheat, but you put yourself in a situation where things can happen. You “dip your toe in the water” by having lunch or dinner with them and having long talks on the phone. There’s no sex involved, so it’s okay, right? The talks and dinners continue and pretty soon you dip more than a toe in the water…you’re knee-deep in an affair. Temptation is out there; it can catch you off guard if you’re not paying attention. I think the man was right to fire his secretary. There was an attraction, and he severed ties with her to preserve his marriage. You have to think about how much you are willing to lose? Is that person worth it?

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    1. I completely agree with you, Cassandra. Self control is key to a lot of things. People use the crutch of not being able to help themselves in too many situations; dieting, lying, stealing… But, if you don’t put yourself in the position in the first place, it can be averted. Thanks for the comment:)

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