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Nice Guys…

It is true…they finish last, but they usually last longer than any other species! How many of you married a nice guy? If you did, then you’re probably still married to him. Jerks are typically divorced, possibly turned nice because they knew there was no other way, and maybe they’re re-married, or they are eating tv dinners alone with their dog who is licking the empty plastic container because, well they have a jerk for an owner. Now, how many of you dated the jerk before moving on to the nice guy? Yep, everyone, right? Well, a lot of you for sure. My apologies to the ones who married said jerks, thinking they would change them. I know I was one of those that dated the jerk. I had to. It’s the thing to do. That jerk is so tempting, so alluring, so needful to capture. Like a rare butterfly whose wings turn into cheap plastic decoys once they think they’ve got you.

I remember my jerk. He was a humongous flirt, dangerously cute, sweet talker, and a challenge. Nice guys are NO challenge. Their humility and kindness oozes from them like foam from a shaken coke can. They can’t hide it. It’s who they are–how they were raised. Or not. It’s just who they are. You can take your car and run over a nice guy. Apologize and all is forgiven. The jerk will drop you like a hot potato, no hesitation involved. And they will probably get in their car and leave a few tracks on your back, just for ‘Even Stevens’. Anyway, I digress. That jerk is cunning. You think he’s a mountain to climb, to place your flag, and let every girl know you’re out with Joe Cool. Shortly, after you’re sick to death of him checking himself out in the silverware at your table, you’re ready to move on. And that’s when Nice Guy comes into the picture. I have a few of those in my family. Of course, I do. 🙂 Their dad is nice, and I don’t raise jerks. 😉 And so I tell them, don’t worry boys, when the girls are tired of the jerks, suddenly you will come into focus for them. You will look like that hero on the white horse. The one that opens her car door, asks what she wants to do, where she wants to eat. Sadly, you will finish last. But it will be you that finished. Not the jerk. 

I’ve noticed all the trendy things going around now are ‘Be Kind’ geared. Really? We have to post this on social media? Be kind. What is this world coming to that this has to be a ‘thing’…a revival, a happening? There is honestly a movement where I live for this very sentiment. People painting it on rocks, features on the front page of the newspaper about people going around with signs… I guess this philosophy goes hand in hand with the jerk thing. Why are there jerks? Why does someone choose not to be nice and kind and giving and compassionate? Is the other way so much easier? I think it’s because kindness was never offered to them. Although this is a learned behavior, why should they? Obviously girls like it. For a short time. You date a jerk…if you’re lucky, you marry the nice guy.

And that’s just my little dessert plate of what the jerk and nice guy’s position in life are. Please feel free to comment if you feel differently! I love to hear from you. 🙂

Don’t forget, my new release comes out next week!!!! I’m too excited. No, really I am.

 Pre-order here! Oh, and of course, there is a jerk in the book. He has the tiniest of all parts. 🙂 Hey, it had to be true to life, didn’t it? Thank you kindly.

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Time moves on

Long time no blog, huh? I’ve been a bit busy. I got back from China! That was huge. I gained a wonderful little being. That was humongous. Now my nest is getting ready to be scattered, again. Drats, that college!

China was busy. And scary. I’d say 1% spoke broken English. That is if you could find her/him. We were on our own most of the time (2 weeks). Which made eating almost impossible. Menus were mostly in Chinese, and we are not the gambling type, seeing that chicken feet were a favorite by many and squid flavored potato chips were at every convenience store. My husband lost 10 pounds and I lost about 6. I lived on Coke and the doughnut and fried egg they gave me each morning. Oh, and Coke at lunch and dinner. Hence only the 6 pounds lost. You are told NOT to drink the water. Brush your teeth with bottled water and not to eat the vegetables. Hmmm….that left watermelon and rice with noodles. I don’t want to see another speck of rice for quite some time.

Our newest family member is amazing. Upon our first meeting, she clung to me and hasn’t changed her mind that I’ll do as her new momma. What a brave little girl. She left all she knows, a language she understood, all-you-can eat rice and noodles, and came to America with a strange woman and her husband to try her tastebuds on mashed potatoes and applesauce. Both of which she despises. Sigh. So I make her rice and noodles anytime she wants. She truly inspires me with how quickly she is adapting. 🙂

My two…yes, two boys leave for college next week. *sniff, sniff* I know they need to go, need to spread their wings. However, I’ll be left to look at their empty rooms and remember all the nonsense and shenanigans they pulled during our time together. Stop me now!! I don’t think I can go and make the exit scene at the dorm rooms, again. I might be busy that day they have to go. LOL

On a more exciting topic…I am about to release my next book. I. AM. So. Excited!! I just read the latest review for it. I get such a high off of reading what someone thinks of my books. Provided they are justifiable. I can’t say too much for the trolls out there. Everybody has a pooper, right? Anyway, so my next book comes out August 23rd! Eep. It’s a summer fling-type one. I got it in right under the ‘summer’ wire. I do hope everyone who reads it likes it. As with all my books, I fall in love with each of the characters. It’s so difficult to choose which I like best.

Well, I’m off to get that last minute school shopping done. Everyone has that one kid, right? The one that constantly reminds me they have nothing on their supply list and school starts Monday. Yeah, yeah. I have three days, don’t I? Oh, how I hate the supply aisles at Wal-Mart and Target. It’s worse than a BOGO at the shoe store. People grabbing glue sticks like Elmer’s is going on strike. And binders that cost a fraction of my car payment lining the shelves. Come on! It’s a binder, people. Three rings. Why is it like ten bucks? And why does every teacher in the free world need two for their class? Don’t get me started on backpacks. Yes, my oldest son has reminded me that he’s had the same one for the past five years. What can I say? That thing has kept its shape and still zips. Well, kind of. I’ll get him a new one. But have you seen the prices? Forty dollars? And that’s a cheap one. Seriously? Times that by like six. It takes a bite out of the old wallet.

Enough of my school supply rant. I mean, is my kid really going to blow their nose through three boxes of tissues? And use 200 Clorox wipes? I think not. Anyway, happy back to school! Let the good times roll for all the moms who can drop their kids and go back home and take it easy. Your summer of ‘Mom, I’m bored’ has officially come to another close.

Cheers!

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I know this about myself

I keep other people’s gifts. All the time. See this little table runner? Yep, that was the thing I stayed up late to finish for my mother’s mother’s day gift. (No, that’s not a typo.) Why is it in this picture? On my table, should you know this is my table. Well, because I ‘tried’ it on. You know, to see what it’d look like. And what do you know? I liked it. It fit amazingly perfect. And what would my mother do with it anyway? It’s not like she has a naked table needing a runner, is it? And just look at those colors…how they accent the paint in my dining room. Yep, it’s now our new table runner. Needless to say, I had to whip up some lavender sachets and go to the store for a flower and hand lotions. The sachets almost landed in my drawers, but alas I can whip up more if needed for my own. 🙂

Okay, on to other things. My son, the almost-graduate, is in Disney World. He left yesterday. Our first time apart for this length of time. That makes me sound like the Goldberg’s mom, right? Although we do NOT snuggle together. But it was sad seeing him leave. Better get used to it, college waits for no one, come August.

On the adoption front….my agency failed me again. Without properly telling me which papers to place with an application for immigration, I was declined. Yep, what do they care. They aren’t in China waiting for their parents to come get them. They aren’t the crazed people who’ve chased papers for a year, had nervous breakdowns, and stalked the mail courier every day. I’m counting the days until I’m in the bathroom throwing up, riddled with anxiety to cross the ocean in a plane, and not understanding properly how to make change in yen. Or yang. What is the currency?

Back to mother’s day. It was great. I didn’t cook a thing. I did eat well, though. French toast in the morning, forget what the lunch was, and then orange chicken for dinner. Homemade. As in Yum-oooooo.

Today I have a confession. As I wish I was writing this post in anonymity, I’ll just say that I had a ‘friend’ who went to the dentist, or should I say back to the dentist, to get a filling or two. And ‘they’ weren’t feeling it. You know, like what the heck did I do to voluntarily come back here? As in, drove my…’her’ car there, parked, and awaited ‘the chair’, ‘the drill’, the stupid way your mouth feels all doped up while you spend the next hour drooling and biting your gum by accident. Yeah, well my friend, after waiting 15 minutes in the waiting room, decided that was long enough. If they didn’t get her in the first five, she wasn’t waiting anymore. So this friend of mine went to the desk, told small white lie, and left. Can you believe it? She felt sort of like she did when she used to ditch classes in high school. Amazing. I believe the song she said she blasted while spinning wheels out of there was something retro. Like in the ‘skipping school’ days of hers.  Yep, that picture pretty much summed up how my friend looked when she pulled out!

Now for ‘don’t you hate it when’…. don’t you hate it when you’re late for work, fly to the iron to flatten out your blouse, and you accidentally don’t take in account it has embroidery all across the front? You end up smelling like a pencil eraser all day so you eat tons of mints to blow into the air so you don’t offend the people around you. Yep, I hate that too.

Now no more white lies. It’s just a piggy toe in length to the ‘real’ lies we might find ourselves telling. 🙂 Have a great weekend, everyone!!

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Seriously Marvel??

Okay…so I write “Searching For Sarah” and leave it on a semi-cliff hanger and I get bombarded with poor reviews and mean mail for why I did this, and we have a multi-million dollar franchise out there doing what they just did and …what? What’s being done about this? I want to know. I sit in a theater for 2.5 hours watching this…this…movie (which is not my genre to watch) and I get this ending? Seriously?????

Let me back up a paragraph and just let you know why I found myself in the throws of such a movie as this. It was my daughter’s birthday. And she loves Marvel. Lord knows why. Oh yeah, it could be she has 4 brothers and there’s little hope for chick flicks ever getting in the way of her vision with them around. Anyway, so she asks me to attend the movie with her. Which by the way, she’s meeting her bestie there, so what am I serving for this? Oh well…anyway, I haven’t seen any of the other movies so I have no idea who does what or why. Then I get into it and find out this is a part one. Uh, what? Now I have to wait for the next one. Are you kidding me? Don’t they make one every two years or something? Oy.

Let’s see, other than the big birthday bash, I went with my college boy to Toys R Us. Another iconic store closing. Can you believe it? I took all my kids on their birthdays to this place. We’d stop by the front desk, pick up their crown and balloon, and get announced on the loud speaker that if anyone saw us to stop and say happy birthday. Whose taking up for this tradition now? Who? I’ll tell you…Amazon. And there is no birthday virtual balloon there…no crown or loud announcement to the universe. Let’s face it, you shop deals now. Whoever can give it to you cheapest and in 2 days, without leaving your little living room and having to drive across town, or in my case 45 minutes. Amazon is replacing everyone. I’m pretty sure they had something to do with the end of Borders, too. Another Oy.

We’re getting warmer weather here so it’s time for the pollen invasion. Each morning my car looks as though it’s cloaked in a green foamy cape. Not good. I think of my lungs when I’m out for an extended amount of time. Is everyone getting this? Is this a Virginia thing? 

Enough about that, I’ve got to get some sleep. I get so cranky when I’m sleepy. It’s like if I don’t eat for two days, no biggie. (well, sort of a biggie) But if I get cheated out of 2 hours of sleep, a mean dog stirs inside and I bite off everyone’s head. Not cool. Now if I could just shut off my mind long enough to catch some z’s. Till next time, my friendly followers! 🙂

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My Planner, My Enemy

Usually this is the case. Yes, I’m that girl. It takes me hours of research, standing in the aisles of hobby stores looking at stickers, to plan for my planner. I’ve gotten very serious about it these past couple of years. For 2 years in a row I couldn’t decide which planner to buy so I bought two. I used one for the first half and the other for the second half. And boy did I hate that. I felt like I was cheating on the first one. And I had to refer back to it all the time. But I couldn’t let those pre-dated pages go wasted on the other one. I had to stick to the plan and plan on the planner. Shesh. And then March came. Yeah, it was all good for the first quarter–I planned, highlighted, stickered everything, then…..I was sick of the accountability. Sick of seeing the boxes unchecked, the blank pages of the journal part mocking me. I closed that sick piece of tailor-made, beautiful thing, all glitzy and glamoured. And we all know, once you fall back two weeks, three weeks, or more, you get soft to it. Who cares that I’m not documenting that dental appointment, or that I have to do this or that and if I don’t write it down I’ll forget it. Say like those graduation pictures I was supposed to buy or those announcements to send with them. It’s only a couple weeks before he walks, I’m hoping Jostens figures this out and does a rush on those babies. Ugh.

I feel like such a rebel having not used my planner for a month. As if I’m irresponsible. Forgetful. Spitting in the wind. It’s scary out here without protection from scheduled items. I hope I survive!

Moving on.. it’s been a week since the dentist. I. hate. flossing. I did it in the past occasionally, but now that I have to (due to the fact she’s re-checking me in 4 weeks) I hate it. It’s a nasty process. And that’s all I’m saying about that. I’m going out tomorrow and finding a water gun for my gums. Anything that keeps me from rubbing dirty string in nooks and crannies. Yuk. 

So now that the planner has been sufficiently hidden, I’ve managed to get things done. A few weeks late. Nonetheless they’re getting done. For instance, I got a bed and sofa moved last night. (not that I would plan that per say, I’d just list it as a goal and then watch as it stayed on the page not getting checked off). I knew it wouldn’t anyway, so I didn’t bother listing it. Alas they got moved. At nine o’clock at night. Because we know that’s how I roll. The later the better. I get my second wind at 7 in the evening. At 3 I feel like I could shut my eyes and go in a coma. Eventually I come around and begin again. My poor kids had to shut their doors to avoid all the vacuuming that was going on next to their rooms. It’s the only time I can work on things like that. Had I had my planner, I’d have sorted time for groceries, had dinner earlier, and avoided the late night banging. Better luck when I bring it back out, I guess.

It rained all day. I would’ve loved snuggling underneath some fleece and catching up on some trashy television. You know, cop shows and maybe a movie or two. Then I would’ve hated myself when evening came and I had nothing to show for my day. But it was raining! Free day for all. 🙂 

Now I’m going to introduce a new segment to my blog…Don’t you hate it when. I’ll start. Don’t you hate it when…you get in the shower and forget to take your razor? Yeah, three weeks of this can cause some problems. 

Have a grand week, all! I’m birthday shopping tomorrow. Don’t you just love shopping? I hope I don’t buy too much for myself. LOL

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Types of Torture

Eight? Yes, exactly eight. Hey, I’m not bragging. I don’t find joy in making that call. Asking for someone to puncture my gums, all the while I’m paying out of pocket for the horrid sensation…the staring at their mask for hours, the cold and agonizing sprits of water spraying all over my damaged gums, and the whacky suction straw. Yet, this is what I did today. For 1 1/2 hours, strapped underneath a paper bib while blood was smeared on it. I imagined them crying inside…my teeth and gums, while each stab came harder and harder, scaling as they termed it. And the whole time I’m thinking, and this is why I won’t come for another eight. 

Unfortunately I have to return. They found a cavity…or two. I’m suddenly on a plan for return visits. Luckily I came home and found my chocolate Easter bunny and that made my gums feel a whole lot better. 🙂

So big news on the adoption front, for those following or who care…China approved our dossier. It was like passing a final exam. I spent all summer on this humongous scavenger hunt for things they wanted, such as physicals of me, my husband, my children, even my dogs needed paperwork submitted! We had to even see a shrink and be listed as ‘not crazy’. We needed a fire exit strategy for the home, proof of locks on the cabinets, fingerprints done not once but twice, and a state and federal clearance. Having a child naturally doesn’t come close to this. After gathering all of this junk, I had to ran them to get state sealed in Richmond…then authenticated in Washington, D.C. because, you know that traveling notary that followed me around everywhere getting everything signed wasn’t enough. So anyway, China liked what they saw and said yes! Travel should be some time in June (fingers crossed). She turns 5 in July. I’m hoping to get her before her birthday. I did some painting on her room tonight. I know I’m going to forget something. So far I’ve thought about socks. I don’t have any of those. Oh, and shoes. Basically because I have no idea of her size. This is something I’ll pick up in China.

I feel like this week went by fast. Faster than today when I sat in the dentist chair. I have no concrete plans for the weekend. My son wants me to volunteer at school Saturday for a triathlon. Um…this involves getting up at 4:30 a.m. And I’m not even the one who is doing the running. I’m not feeling wonderful about this. Probably won’t happen. Whatever it is I’ll make it fun. Have a great one, everyone! And try to floss. That is what I took away from my waterboarding session today. Floss, floss, floss. I told her I did. She gave me that look. Okay, so I do…seldom. It probably wouldn’t have saved me the blood shed on my bib of shame, anyway. The hygienist must’ve been a wronged person in another life. And evidently she thought it was my gums that wronged her.

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Ever Seen A Bald Cake?

Well, I have. I actually made one this past weekend. Did I set out to make a bald-headed cake? No. Did I think for some reason the recipe wouldn’t walk me into a disaster? Yes. So why didn’t I flour the pan, you ask? Simple..I thought the baker who wrote the instructions knew something I didn’t. Don’t you hate when you know something should be done, but trust the print? I shall never again. A lot went into that cake–5 eggs, 3 sticks of butter, 4 zested lemons…and a bunch more stuff. Not to mention time. Then to have the top fall off…to not exit the pan when I flipped it. Come on Ree!

I made 3 recipes from the newest issue of her magazine, The Pioneer Woman. Mom bought it for me at the bookstore. The cake I mentioned was a lemon pound cake. Now it was good…but it was missing its top. I didn’t even bother with making the icing. Why? I called it the ugly cake. 

On to the next recipe I tried. The meatloaf. I’ve not ever wrapped my meatloaf before, so this was something new. It also called for A LOT of carrots. Okay, so 2. But it was enough to get some turned up noses from my vegetable challenged children. How can you possibly hide all these bright colored strings hanging out in each slice? The taste? It was okay. Nothing I swooned about. In fact, I felt I wasted a pound of bacon, as it wasn’t really that good to eat as a garnish. It was floppy and fatty. I like extremely crispy bacon. My grandma would fry me 6 pieces at night when I said I was hungry. I remember getting a stink eye from my mother when I’d say ‘yes, please make it!!’

Then comes the potato casserole. It was a creamy baked one, topped with chives, sort of like au gratin potatoes. But unlike the dehydrated ones found conveniently in a box that you shake the cheese on and bake for 20 minutes, I slivered 5 russets, sautéed the onion garlic and mixed with a block of cream cheese. It baked for 90 minutes!! And yes, I started it after 4:30 on a school day. We ended up eating at almost 7 that night. It was a bit cheesy for me. I’m not into all the cheese. My family claimed they like it, though. Of course they did. They’d waited hours to eat it! Their bellies would’ve liked the peelings at that point! 

So there you have it. I got the book and made 3 recipes within 3 days. Not to mention I grated my finger. Not the cheese, but the finger. And it was on the knuckle. Hard to mend in that area. Especially with washing and bending it. I will survive! And I will make more of her recipes. I’ll just remember to add the flour and hold back on the cheese!

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I’m sensing a pattern here…

Okay, so I didn’t wake up grumpy, but I seem to be going to bed a bit miffed. Do I know why? Not consciously, but I assure you that if I had some couch time I’d get to the bottom of it! Tonight it’s the little things that are rubbing me…you know, like I’m ticked with Special K Red Berries cereal because the first bowl is a bounty of berries, however by bowl four you’re searching the box for them. Why? Can’t they get the ratio and way it comes out more precise? LOL Yep, that even sounded crazy in my head. But let’s back up to this morning. Maybe I’ll find why I’m a bit out of sorts.

I woke up late. Why? Because my bed is incredibly warm. Because I go to bed past the time I can keep my eyelids open. Because I don’t like mornings. So I had to go to the dentist with boy 4 and girl 1. He had a cavity. The horror. The complete horror of having to go and wait 2 hours….2 hours to have that thing filled. Of course the majority of that time was letting him get sedated and then the gas and the waking from the gas. See what not brushing every night got you, I asked. This. He assures me he will brush, floss, fluoride, and soak teeth every night to avoid such future horror. Sidenote: Girl 1 had no cavities. Yay!

As for the rest of my day, it went okay. I did some errands, ate a crappy lunch, and wandered around for what to make for dinner. Ah, my favorite time to sit and wonder what I’ll feed my tribe. Nothing good, I assure you it was. Nothing. I couldn’t even bear to clean it up. Boy 2 surprised me by clearing it out while I was washing laundry. I finished up the evening by eating a bowl of my berry cereal and feeling as though I got nothing accomplished today. Maybe that’s my problem. All I did was ride in a car or ride that dentist waiting room chair. And then of course I’m on the kick of feeling fat again. Yet nothing stops me from eating. Go figure that!

Okay, now for the positive portion of this segment. Because being negative is beginning to make me look even worse. I will mention a few things that light up my world and give me reason to be the happiest person ever. Let’s see:1. I have the most wonderful 6 kids ever. Maybe not every second of the day. But when I’m around other bad children, I know my really aren’t all that naughty. LOL! No, they are good. Down in their core they are good. Now to just not have to police them every second. 2. My home is just what I need. It’s beautiful, provides most with their own room, gives us security, and has a serene setting. (I mention this because I get the itch to move every day). 3. My husband is one of the best. I’d go as far to say I think he puts my needs before his own. You just don’t get that lucky usually. 4. I’m getting the chance to adopt a very sweet little girl in just 2 short months. Although it has been some of the most stressful times of my life with deadlines, hoops to jump through, and finding the money…I will be her mother before her 5th birthday. Amazing!! 5. Speaking of moms, I have the best one ever. This woman could’ve bunked with Mother Theresa for all I know. Drank from her same cup. Brushed with her same comb. She is giving, empathetic, compassionate to a fault, and all mine! Yep, that made me feel better. Sometimes you have to check in to what’s important and check out of what you have no control over. Like Kellog’s or cavities. I know this. 😉

Till next time! Have a good rest of the week.

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Have You Ever…

…woke up grumpy for no reason? It’s like trying to step out of quick sand to shake it off. I mean seriously…really? A brand new morning, and this? And I must add that I had pretty decent entertainment last night in my sleep. I have no idea where my dream came from. Who implants these things? To have a full blown plot…extravagant dialogue, and thought out imagery? Who? Last night I was training for Chick-fil-A. I was with a pack of other new employees and we had to wear yellow raincoats and perform show tunes for drive-thru customers. Are you kidding me?

I couldn’t make this stuff up if I had to. I remember forgetting my lines. It was horrible. And the rain…it was pouring. Some dream weaver, interpreter would love to get into my head! I would love to get into my head! LOL

I am going on a birthday getaway this weekend. My sister is hosting a hotel stay and play in Pennsylvania. I’m looking forward to it. I’ve been asked minute by minute by my children the precise time we’re leaving, and what time we’ll arrive, what will we do, when will we get back…..it’s daunting to say the least. I’m going to pre-record a message and let them play it back at will.

Anyway, about the whole getting older thing. I’ve noticed some changes. Subtle…but alas still creeping up on me in the mirror. My neck appears to seem a bit more detailed. Where there was once a regular neck, there are now definitions of other things going on. Can’t really explain in words, but it seems different. I’ve decided to stop looking at it. Then there’s my cheeks. They look swollen. Do I have a gum disease lurking? Or is this how it’s going down? Plump cheeks. I guess they could be drawn and empty. Okay, I’ll take plump. Still need to see the dentist though. 🙂

I’m okay with getting older. I get to use it to my advantage a lot of the times. You know, “I know because I’m ancient like trees. I’ve been there, done that” sort of thing. Learn from your elders! Yuk. That’s become me, hasn’t it? *sigh*

Last point of the day. My bed. When does it become that there’s too many things on the bed? I love extra pillows. They prop me up at night to watch television. Then my husband bought me this Peppa Pig lamb for Christmas that makes noises. I love it. So I kept it on my bed, where my children know not to squeeze it. It could stop and I don’t see where to replace batteries. But then my mom just got me a new bunny for Easter. Yes, my mother still loves me! And it looks good on there, too. Oh, and there’s that new pillow that happened to be a complete steal at Target. I bought the comforter to go with it for my new daughter’s room but it didn’t match. I kept the pillow instead. But is it too much? It’s beginning to be an ordeal to make up my bed in the mornings and account for all this junk!

It doesn’t look like it, but there are 7 pillows there! No, 8. One of them is hiding. Shewee…I must put a stop to the collection. Who can just go to sleep anymore without cataloging this stuff? If I don’t watch it, I might come home and find my husband doing a little of this!

But seriously….have a great week and weekend. I’ll make sure and take a lot of pictures of Amish country to share with everyone! Peace out!!

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Two things to stew on…

First…healthcare. No, I promise this won’t get political or raise any awareness 🙂 , but seriously…I took my daughter to the “doctor” this evening because she has had a persistent stomach ache and it’s added a pretty hairy sore throat to the list of ailments. Know this, my daughter NEVER misses school, not even stupid half days. (Who ever thought of a half day? Pa-lease) So when she dropped her backpack by the door this morning and morphed into a ball beside me in bed, I knew that meant business. By dinner (of course) she’d become worse, so I drove her to the “doctor”. Only to be awakened to what’s, er I mean, who’s out there at these facilities now. They are referred to as “providers”. Yep, I was told I’d see a provider today. Hmm… Then I was called back by a “medical assistant”. Did the nurses and doctor’s get new names? Are these so called “providers” and “assistants” getting the same education as the others used to get? They even wore name badges; ‘medical assistant’. I’m a bit confused, and concerned. What was more eerie was they kept referring to one another by these cold titles. “The provider will be into see you shortly.” “You can ask the provider when she comes back in.” “The medical assistant will come do the strep test.”Are we running out of doctors and nurses? And will I be charged based on a provider and medical assistant rate?

But all that mess came before the drive pool lane at school. Today was extremely rushed for me. I left my house a total of 4 times today. And when you live on Little House on the Prairie that’s kind of a big thing. You usually plan to get groceries and call it a day where I’m from. No, seriously. There are no quick trips from my house. They all take about an hour one way. So before the doctor…provider debacle (which by the way, it’s a virus…yeah sure. I know strep when I see it) there was the car pool at school to pick up my son. Or as I like to call it, the 4k run of my patience. I mean seriously…mothers actually unbuckle themselves, stroll around to the sidewalk, kiss child on head, ask child how day was, undo their backpack to make sure nothing’s missing, place child in car, hum a little tune, buckle them, blow a kiss, shut the door, and saunter back to the driver’s seat. At which time they buckle, wave at the teacher who hasn’t quite exited the building, wait until they see them and return wave, then with turtle speed pull forward. Just once I’d like to blow my horn. I’ve thought about it. Long and hard. Who would scold me? Others might join in. You know who the culprit is by the third week of school. I look for that bumper sticker of the multi-colored bear and pray I’m not behind it. Or the red little hatch back. Oh, I’ve got the offenders down pat, all right.

Well, I’ve got to wake up early so I better get off my little soap box tonight. I somehow made a dentist appointment for all of my children in the morning. You know, when you make these appointments six months in advance, they should tell you where it hits. Lucky for me, it’s the day before Easter…the day I usually earmark for doing all the things I’ve procrastinated a month to do…Easter shop, menu prep for 14 guests…you know, the normal pre-holiday stuff. So this year instead of all that, I get to drive 2 hours to the dentist in holiday traffic.

So to leave on a spectacular note, because after I overcome my hurried day and watch some mindless television, I’ll be fine…I wish you a magnificent Easter. A time to feast with family and friends. To be oh-so-happy warm weather is settling in finally, and to eat all the coconut cake you want!