It has rained for four days. Not pouring, but spits of water, drizzle, and wetness. The sky is colorless–suffocated by thick dirty clouds. The air is damp. And I’m over it. I wonder if my mood is in direct comparison to the weather. It’s now October. Fall is on cue. I once loved autumn. Waited to find an eclectic collection of leaves to stick them in the pages of a photo album. There must’ve been a reason. Looking back at them, they’ve all turned black. There was once hues of all the colors one would think Vermont bathed in all year long…red, orange, yellow, and a few green, refusing to give up. When fall ushers in now, where summer steps back and cools down, I get depressed by it all. The disappearance of the leaves I used to scoop up; the grass that’s stopped growing; and the chill that makes me seek shelter indoors. It’s as if the party is coming to a close and the host is gathering the cups and plates. The guests are leaving and you’re expected to go, too. Everyone to their homes. Nothing to see here. No flowers, no barefeet.
Perhaps the weather is just a backdrop to my ‘off-ness’. A perfect storm of culminating events. I stopped exercising. Thus making me feel 20 pounds heavier than my mirror appears. And my first born child is moving out of state. As in never to return. You know how when they leave for college, it’s never the same? Well, it sort of was. And now it won’t be. Moving away and pretending to be an adult just might ‘take’ this time with him. And for that, I’m sort of out of sorts. If only he’d moved in summer. Or spring, even. But fall? My nemesis? I take a deep breath and know that I can have a mindset of whichever I choose.
OR 
Life is fleeting. Why would I choose sadness? Things don’t grow in stagnation. I know this. But they certainly don’t grow in the fall, either. Which is why I wish it were still summer. I think I am in the minority that feels this way.
I hope everyone has a great week and sun continues to shine wherever you are. I read the weather report for here and we just might get a peek at where summer snuck off to. If only just for a day, it’s supposed to be 77 degrees Thursday. I believe I’ll take it!
