Ah, the ‘break’. Who has been asked to take one, and who has gulped before asking for one? I shamefully asked for breaks when I needed air. I don’t know what your situation called for, but air was important to me. I had a boyfriend, who turned into my spouse (spoiler alert), that loved spending too much time with me. And I say that from a 16-17 year old mindset. When you’re that young, you want to move and shake. He was freshly into his 20’s and he did want to move and shake…but with me only. Me, in my 30s mindset, would say, bring it on. I love all this time together. Snuggling, watching television until the morning hours, eating, napping….but 17 years old? I needed a break! Time to see all the other fish swimming. Time to realize all the other jerks who weren’t interested in television watching and holding just my hand.
Yet, the concept of a break is used often by couples for other reasons than air. Is there uncertainty? “Let me see what time away from this person looks like”. “Let me see if I’m the first to call to un-break us.”
Then again, the ‘break’ can be used to see if the other person says, “Break!! What?!! But, I love you so much.”
Are we insecure and need reassurance, so we pull out the break card? Are we looking for reaction…to see the other person squirm, ever so little?
Breaks can be brutal to the one being asked for one. Breaks can be playing with fire, should they not come full circle to what it is we desire from them. I asked for quite a few in my dating days. I can chalk it up to confinement at a young age. Who knows what they want in high school? Forever wasn’t on my radar, certainly. And toward the end of our ‘dating’ phase, he wasn’t exactly keen on the break card. The mere formation of the ‘b’ sound from my mouth made steam produce from his ears. But he stuck around. Even through the breaks. And the were necessary. All of it was. All the messiness, confusing, and unmatched parts of our relationship. It drove us here, after all.
In short, take it easy on the breaks. One, maybe two is sufficient to know the why of one. Anymore than that and I’m thinking making it a permanent one. 🙂
