Fibs and Lies

I am not a liar. Lies hurt, rob trust, and trip everyone up involved in them. I tell my kids that if they lie to me, not only will I not be able to believe them easily in the future, but they’ve taken from the trust account. Once the account is depleted, we’ve got essentially nothing. And if I catch people in lies, like friends, colleagues, or other family members, it cast them in a different light. So what’s the difference in fibs and lies? Is there a difference? I tried to speak my piece on it with my adult son last night. We all get I don’t like nor condone lying….

Fibs, I feel, are the dust particle of a lie that if left speck-like, will do little harm to the one on the receiving end of it. For example, I go to your house and you serve me spaghetti and ask how I like it. You push back your stray hair, dampened by the work it took to smash the tomatoes, introduce the bay leaves, and add just the right sugar to the masterpiece you look lovingly on as you ask the question. I briefly look down at the plate. Warm garlic wafts in the air. Noodles are buried underneath a heap of chunky-like sauce. The color is a striking deep red, as if the tomatoes died on the vine of which they were plucked. I gather a combination of carbs and sauce on my fork and bring it to my mouth.  And as my tongue is subjected to the sour, yet saltless mass that’s now being pushed to the back of my throat, I look at you and smile. Your raised brow and tired eyes are searching mine. “Well?” Well, I can tell you worked a long time on this. (note: I’m trying not to lie…to be unkind) Poor tongue. Poor stomach. “No, I mean how does it taste?” Okay, and here is where a fib would be inserted. Because the truth of the sour, tasteless sauce would cut to the bone. Make the time making it a waste. Not please my appetite and make me happy. And who wants to cut up that cadaver with telling the absolute truth? No one. So I say, it’s good. And then I hope silently that no other adjectives are wanted. Note: I don’t say it’s great. That’s a lie. No, I say it’s good. Therefore a fib was told. It was told to cause no harm. Was it a lie? I feel it was a fib. A fib is only used to not hurt someone. It causes no harm. You could say that it causes the person to continue making awful spaghetti by telling them it was good. Whatever. I’m not going back to your house when it’s on the menu. Let someone else clue you in. And if I like the person, wouldn’t I be honest enough to tell them…to help them get better? Perhaps. It depend on my relationship with you. Am I transient eater at your house? Will I be coming over more, and therefore for the sake of my stomach and your culinary skills, want to tell you to stop torturing the Italian foods. That’s for the individual to decide.

So tell me, do you see a difference? Or are all lies the same?