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Heartbroken on Valentine’s Day

We all know that Valentine’s Day and me aren’t friends. Haven’t been for years. It just always turned out to be a crap day. Even when I did have a legitimate Valentine. It’s like Cupid circles my head and shoots flaming darts. But this one…this day started out fine. I finally remembered the cookies for my daughter’s school party. The teachers have only been after me all week. Yesterday they stapled a reminder…stapled! a reminder to her backpack. Then left another note inside her binder. I get it! Cookies. Anyway, I remembered. Then I set out and got everyone close to me a valentine, some fashion of a sweet, and a little $5 nothing. But something, really. I got my daughter a musical on DVD, my son these beans he collects. (They have magnets inside). And yada, yada, yada. I went in late to work, scored a free lunch, and went home to have a wonderful dinner made for yours truly. Whew, I made it. Then a few things happened, or as we know it, Cupid shot the first flame. First, my daughter confided that everyone in her homeroom got a carnation, some even 2 or 3, and she was the ONLY one who got nothing. None. Who does this? Why can’t the teacher read on the sheet who is getting one, have extras, and make sure no one leaves the room without one? Nope. So there my little girl sported around all day without a flower. She said she seriously could have cared less. Right. But alas, there is NOTHING I can do to right that wrong. Valentine’s Day is going to become one less rocking day to her, as well. Then my littlest boy comes to me and hands me 3 Valentine’s cards he received. 3. Not one of those homemade shoe boxes you used to make to hold the 20 that would come, but 3. He’s in the 5th grade, so you’re not asked to exchange them. In fact, they didn’t even send out a sheet with a list of names. And he didn’t want to give any–he’s a boy. And so it hit me. Hard. This is his last year in elementary school. The last time it will even be an option. (let me wipe the tears as I continue to write). My kids are growing up too fast. Way too fast. Said daughter will get her driver’s permit next month. Where does this leave me? I’ll tell you where. In a fetal position, crying my eyes out, surrounded by scrap books of all my little babies. Is this what empty nest feels like? Aren’t we supposed to be waiting until they fly out?        Nope.

I think I need to give serious thought to admitting I can’t live here anymore. For health reasons of not tolerating the cold, I must leave. I must find a place closer to the sun, with a dash of salt water, and lots of warm air. Like lots. It’s getting worse the older I become. Scratching ice off my windshield each morning, wearing layers like an onion, and practically sitting on a space heater at my desk is getting old. Way old. What happened to global warming? When is it happening? I can take a month of cold. Tops. After Christmas it needs to snap back to a cool spring of 6 months. Why can’t this be done? For crying out loud.

Oh yeah, I suffered through strep throat last week. Um, don’t ever want to do that again. Luckily no one caught it. I stayed in bed for 3 days. So unlike me. Even my bones were crying to stand up again. It was awful. This is what it felt like when I swallowed.No joke.

I’m gearing up for my book release, and writing my next book at the same time. It’s amazing how I can catch such a tailwind of writing, then sit down for a second and wonder, “where is this thing going?” And that my friend is the intercom calling for WRITER’S BLOCK. Never ask yourself where this is going. Just drive. The story will find its destination just fine. So, I’m off to not ask myself any questions, not ponder how my littles are growing up, and not thinking twice about adding another pair of socks or sweater to my already 2 layers. Peace out and have a great weekend!

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Valentine Awkwardness

heart-1450302_640-1I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again. Valentine’s Day and me don’t see eye to eye. Does anyone remember in high school, when those stupid candy grams would get sent to homerooms? It stunk not getting any. And the year I did get them, I felt bad for the people who didn’t. And how about the roses? Really? The office would be full of vases with dozens of roses…from high school guys to their “girlfriends”. Likely that relationship was going to last for more than that week. But, here, “take this dozen of roses it cost me fifty dollars to buy and send you, just so I’ll look good, and you’ll look better”.

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I found a paper on the counter the other day where you could send your child lollipops for Valentine’s day for a dollar or two. What about the kids who don’t get any? All because their parent, like me, forgot to send in the dumb paper that overcharged for a dum-dum pop. What about the party? And all those Valentines your child comes home with and you find for the next week under chairs and in cabinet drawers? Right, they don’t do them anymore. Valentines are even optional these days. Really?

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Then you have adulthood status: Do I, the girl, get him something? What? Like he’s really going to want a stuffed gorilla holding a dorky sign, saying it loves him. And candy? Is it me, or am I the only girl who has a boyfriend who would rather have a Payday candy bar, a bag of Cowtails, or Andy Cap’s Hot Fries? How special is that?

Don’t get me started on the restaurants. Booked. Every one of them. You have to either eat at four or nine o’clock, just to get a table. And for what? I don’t know…I’m a romantic writer, but this holiday doesn’t impress me. I guess if I were just falling in love, and wondering if the fella was going to buy me roses, it might be different. I’d get the buds, touch each one of them, swoon all over the place, smell the smell right out of them, and read the little card until it was memorized.    Now, though? It’s just another day. Isn’t that sad?

Gosh.

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The Valentine’s Day Curse

th2SO887SESo, you think Valentine’s Day, you think love, puppies, hearts, chocolate, all things that are mushy, or whatever… However, I’m here to say, that some years ago, things went terribly wrong with Valentine’s day for me and my intended. Very wrong.

It began about nine or ten years into our relationship. Every time the calendar month changed to February, so did the tides of our attitudes with one another. It was as though we were entering into a time warp and as the fourteenth day of the month approached, we became more and more intolerant of each other. Without fail, the day in which all lovers celebrated with dinner, candy, and roses became our most dreaded. By then, we weren’t doing much communicating, other than a nod or a grunt for what we wanted for dinner. What was going on? Was he picking a fight not to have to endure the shopping for the perfect gift or searching for the prettiest card? No, he loved celebrating anything that involved buying me gifts and eating dinner out.

As time went on, when we saw the beginning of February approaching, we’d come to understand that Valentine’s day was off the menu. We wouldn’t even put it out there to the universe as something we were going to celebrate. Now, after much more time has passed, we’re just numb to the day. Valentine’s Day? So what. We’re not feeding the monster of strife.

We never uncovered the reason for our discontent for the thirteen days that led up to the day Cupid shoots arrows into lover’s hearts. Even our friends knew the deal, don’t mention V-day around those two.

I’m reporting now that not only did the curse seem to fade into the abyss, but so did the holiday. When February 14 arrives in our house, it’s more for our little ones who sign their folded Valentines to their friends at school. As for me and my lifelong boyfriend, we pay no attention to the candy, flowers, and packed restaurants. What we choose to ignore, shall remain ignored. And, that solves all the problems of February first through the thirteenth!