Last weekend I decorated for the fall. It took me the better part of the day to do it. I have a large tote that someone lugs up from the basement, and I unwrap each collected item and display them in the dining, living, and kitchen rooms. My kids used to get a charge at all the pumpkins and goblins. Now, it’s like, ‘meh’. Whatever. I like it. My college boy likes it, and had he been there he’d have said something. Oh well. My husband complimented the transformation of our home. Everything now has an ‘autumn glow’. Fall used to be my favorite season, although now it might be spring. Fall just tells me winter is coming, and for that I have a bit of resentment. I get it. Everything has to die to become new again. I just don’t like the death winter feels sometimes. I’m cold during the summer, for crying out loud! And all the bleakness of the sky, no leaves on the trees…I’m getting sad just thinking about it. Better stop!

So I’m going to be at a book festival tomorrow. I won’t lie, it’s my first. I have no idea what to expect. I ordered my books, and I’ve got my pen ready to sign. Now I just hope and pray there are readers who want one! I ordered the cutest magnetic calendars. They had little foxes on them, and my logo was fashioned so cutely on them. And the bookmarks!! In true Julieann fashion, it took me a week to commit to the one I liked best. And so the order was placed. And I waited. And I checked delivery schedules. Yep, they were to arrive right in the nick of time. Then I called last night to check where my missing swag booty was. And then my heart hiccuped. “What? The order never processed? Umm…why not? I’ve been checking. It’s said they’re arriving on the 20th? I ordered 3 weeks ago.” And then the heartless representative from vistaprint said, “It wasn’t deliberate. Your order just wasn’t sent to printing. We’re sorry.” Sorry? Sorry? I have no swag, not cute little fox calendars, no bookmarks? I’ll be the only table with nothing on it! Sorry? “Yes, sorry. I’ll make sure to report this to my supervisor.” Hmm…   I”ll just leave this here with how much that report gave me a warm, fuzzy feeling.

Onto the adoption front. I’ve taken 35 credit hours of courses dealing with adoption. It has been enlightening to say the least. I had no idea all the issues that these poor children go through being institutionalized. I mean, of course, who wouldn’t be scared for life being left in a crib, not ever getting rocked, or fed a bottle being propped on a blanket. My heart is so heavy for their plight.

Fundraising has been a scream. Wow. It’s taught me to be a better giver, that’s for sure. I put myself out there, which is NO easy task for me. I’m the type that wants to take care of things for myself. But this is so huge, so high a hill to climb, that I asked friends and family for help. And I get it. “You want the child, you pay the money.” But it’s more than I have. And she needs it. I’m not asking for myself, I’m asking for her. But whatever. Lesson learned. It’s okay. Some have come forward. Some have helped. Some that I had no idea that would. And I hope they felt the profuse appreciation I gave them in return.

I’m doing a new fundraiser, and thinking of another one for my kid’s school to participate in. As if I haven’t had enough humiliation in begging for money, right? Sadly I’ve learned that people will give if they get something in return. So I made a quilt. It took a month with all the other things I’ve got going on. I call it ‘Birdie’s Quilt’. And it’s $10/ticket for a chance to win it. I used all my favorite fabrics I’ve collected over the years, and it measures a queen size. It’s been getting good response.

This adoption experience is teaching me so much about myself, orphaned children, and the friends and family that surround me. I know I’ve grown, and that’s a good thing. I just can’t wait to get my little Birdie and bring her home!

Have a great weekend everyone. 🙂

Follow Julieann Dove on WordPress.com