I confess, I’m a thinker. Sometimes more than other times. It doesn’t have to be me that’s going through a life altering event to make me think about mortality. I could read a news story, hear about an accident, or see a friend on Facebook going through something horrific. Which is why I’ve cut out my daily news watching all together. I can’t take the reality of life and all the sadness that comes along with it. Put me in a Ziploc bag of Utopia and denial, and seal it shut:)
Anyway, I was driving to work yesterday and a monster thought came and tapped me on the shoulder. Is this important? Driving to work to make desserts? I know, right? Come on, someone has to do it. So, who? Someone who doesn’t get that that’s not important? Someone who needs the money it pays to afford them something they want? I don’t know, it just seemed so meaningless. Especially when you heard a classmate the same age as you just died from cancer, leaving behind a son and husband. Or, that a couple died Sunday afternoon while taking a joy ride on their motorcycle. Dessert? Really?
I know we can’t all think this way, otherwise, none of the tedious tasks would ever get completed. Someone has to live like tomorrow is coming and with it comes the daily grind. But, isn’t life too juicy, too full of potential, to just drive somewhere and make desserts? Shouldn’t I be doing something more important? Like what? I love writing. That’s what makes me happy, makes me inhale and exhale with a smile on my face. But, isn’t that silly, too? You could be facing down life altering events at any moment, and suddenly you catch yourself wondering if your book is going to be a best seller? Is anything important?
Basically, I think I might need a vacation. Spend some time staring into the ocean, knowing that all that matters in that split second is that all I have is that split second. And, for that moment, everything is perfect. Because in a few short days, I’m just driving to make the Cannoli’s.