Snow Threats

I just got back from the grocery store … again. I’ve been three times in the last three days. No joke. I went Tuesday when the weather man was calling for 5 inches, to begin on Friday. I bought enough groceries to last until Saturday, possibly Sunday with grilled cheese sandwiches and soup for a backup. I figured by then I’d be shoveled out and back to civilization. Yesterday I heard rumors of a foot of snow. I stopped by the store and grabbed one more dinner option and a green pepper I’d forgotten to buy on Tuesday.  Last night I get information that it’s a full-blown blizzard coming, with 40 mile per hour winds, snow drifts of three feet, and possible power outages. VDOT sent a notice we wouldn’t dig out before Wednesday. I got a text from my electric company this morning to buckle down and expect the worst. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

So out I go again. This time, all the cheese and bread are missing from the shelves. Ha-ha, I’d already purchased those things on my previous visits. But, for goodness sakes, I need spaghetti noodles, and hamburger meat, and what if all we can eat is cereal? I got an extra box of that. You never know. Sadly, all that was left on the milk aisle, however, was a fat-free, lactose-free, tasteless, milk-like beverage. Only one! I grabbed it. Hopefully the marshmallows in the cereal will make up for the that large detail.

As I stood in the mile-long line, I was able to spy on what everyone else was there to buy. Why is it when they announce snow, everyone buys toilet paper? There was a display when you walked into the store with toilet paper! It was fantastically on sale, too. Does the condition of white precipitation bring about the insatiable need to poop and pee? (for lack of another descriptive word) Are they all eating bread slices and then single-filing to the bathrooms?

One woman had five frozen pizzas in her cart and two loaves of bread. That’s all. Another mom and her baby stood in line with five canisters of baby formula, diapers, paper towels, sandwich meat, and juice. Another woman and her unruly child stood in line with three six packs of Mountain Dew, four large cans of energy drinks, and fixings to make about ten salads. Hmmm.

And alas, we had the bachelor, holding a magnum beer in one hand and a pack of hotdogs in the other. I suppose he’s not thinking ahead of the toilet paper crisis. Perhaps this beer and dog will see him through it. Who knows?

All I do know is I’m ready for it. I’ve never had so much food in my cabinets and freezer. Now, I’m just hopeful the electric won’t go out. But, I have a plan if it does. My stove is propane, so we’ll cook what we need in skillets and pots, all the while warming our little behinds while it’s being prepared.

There is one thing I failed to buy, now that I’m thinking about it. Toilet paper. I hope I have enough.