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Return to Pooh Corner

Does anyone remember this song? I was driving my son to school yesterday and it came on. I have no idea why, as I was listening to a playlist of Eddie Money, John Cougar, etc. Anyway here came Kenny Loggins singing about counting all the bees in the hive and chasing clouds away. It made me very nostalgic. I looked in the rearview mirror at my son and pondered the thought that he doesn’t even know he’s young. Well yeah, he knows what youth stops you from doing. You can’t drive a car, you can’t stay at home and not go to school, you can’t not eat healthy. But he has little clue as to what it affords you…being chauffeured, only worrying what assignments are due the next day, chasing the clouds if he really wanted to. Youth is definitely wasted on the young! What I wouldn’t have given to stay home and be concerned over nothing. No bills, no need for money, no what to make for dinner. It’s fleeting, but he won’t get that until 20 years down the road and a silly song comes on the radio to remind him. 🙂

Along with EVERYTHING else I’ve got juggling in mid-air, I’m onto my next fundraising craft. I don’t think I posted the fabric keychains, but they’ve been a huge hit. I’m almost sold out. I have another shipment of metal fasteners arriving to get more made. But in the meanwhile, I’ve begun a new project. Tissue holders for your bag. They are SUPER easy and fast. And so many possibilities with color schemes. They are a great stash buster, especially when you chain sew them. I’m working on another quilt, too. Did I even post pics of the other one? This one is smaller, and it’s cowboy theme. So cute. I’ll for sure post a picture when I’m finished.

Book 3 of Sarah is getting so good! I hate to tease, but it’s going to end with a bang! I have no ideas for a cover yet. So many choices. Sometimes I wish I’d gone with a couple on the others, but who would the guy be? Hmm…. I can’t help myself sometimes. Who would you want to see Sarah ride into the sunset with?

Hey, did you know it’s breast cancer awareness month? Isn’t it crazy how each month is something different? It also happens to be Down Syndrome awareness month, too. Along with getting my education tackled for this one, I’m thinking about immersing myself in Mandarin. Why not? I’ve got so much time on my hands, right?

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I am that parent!

boredom598x5681-881x499Do you remember being younger, when all that was offered on television was about 4 channels. And you had to turn the dial on the antennae to pick them up? Am I showing my age? Or were we the only poor family who didn’t have cable? Was cable even offered? Oh, Lordy! Well yes, it happened. We’d set the dial and listen to the rotation of the big thing on top the house. So here’s what was offered most of the day…soap operas from lunch until after 3. Then the horrid news began at 5 and took you through to dinner. First the local news, then the national news. I can still remember the way it felt when my eyes rolled to the back of my head. News again??? What could my dad possibly get out of this one person going on and on and on about things that are so boring it was putting me to sleep. And all my siblings. And there was a moment when I’d catch even my dad dropping off. So why not turn the channel? Why watch the national news and prolong the agony? Didn’t we get tortured enough knowing what happened in our own neck of the woods? What could we do about what was happening nationally? Ahhhh….

Fast forward a few years. Yeah, that’s right. That’s me watching some crappy national news. Am I the remote controller? Not exactly. I’ve married a news watcher. But yeah, that’s me watching it. Understanding it. And it’s not entirely all that bad. As “not bad” as news can be. It’s just amazing how when I was younger, I felt as though my ears would bleed out hearing news anchors go on and on about nonsense. It felt like a most painful white noise. Now it’s coherent. And so I wonder…what do my kids hear when it’s on? At least they can flee to their own television room and watch a vast amount of whatever. Seriously, whatever. Cartoons are on like 5 networks, 24 hours a day. They even have gameshow networks, mystery networks, sports networks….I only got cartoons on Saturday mornings for a few hours. Wow…time has changed. And so have I! 🙂

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The Graduate

gradThat picture, minus the date, is how I felt when I sat for hours watching the graduating class of my sons’ take their diploma and walk away into the night. A group of young adults, weathering the tests, classes, and teachers for the past 13 years…out in the real world now. It was surreal. My baby boy. The one who cried so hard when I left him at the little church preschool when he was 4 years old…now a graduate. I remember not being able to take hearing him cry. I called my husband from the parking lot and told him he would be taking him from now on. He couldn’t do it either. So I called my mother to drop him off. Eventually it got better. He acclimated to the other children and settled in. But boy was it tough.

He never gave me any trouble in school. Always a straight ‘A’ student, very conscious of his GPA, and rarely ever missing a day. I had it easy being his mom. And then the night came to see it end. No more seeing him pulling his hair at the counter, trying to squeeze out another page to his already 7 page long paper. No more having him ride the bus for the 45 minutes it took to get to the school. No more curfew to get the bed so he could wake up at 5 in order to ride the bus! He is now officially in limbo until he finds a job and waits to go to college in the fall.

So how do I feel about it all? Old. I no longer can say I have 5 in school. I have four in school and one going to college. Ahh…it gives me shivers. One is out. OUT, I tell you. Out among the other responsible citizens of the world. Able to vote, able to work, go to jail if he’s bad. (although I highly doubt it…still, he could go) I’ve got an adult on my hands. No, I won’t say it too often in my mind. I can’t. To admit it means I’ve lost a little bit of the world I’ve lived in for so long a time. I prefer denial. When I see him meandering in the hall after all the others have gone to school, I simply say to myself he’s just out for the day. It gets me through it. Don’t ask me what I’ll do when fall really comes and I have to leave him at that college. I think he may have to call my mom to take me home because he can’t take the crying! 🙂

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Knowing Your Passion

Bright-IdeaI believe we are all born with a passion; something that comes already hardwired into our being that gravitates us toward something in particular.

Others do not believe this. (That’s okay, they just haven’t tapped into theirs yet!)

Case in point, me. When I was younger, I spent my spare time writing stories. I actually purchased blank journals and filled the pages with my characters and musings. I was fortunate enough to be the editor of our high school poetry collection book. I loved anything that had to do with literature, writing, or reading. So, why did I grow up and become something else? Life, I guess. I got married just short of finishing college, had a baby, fell into a job, had another baby, and before I knew it, that passion for writing got suffocated by all the other things happening in my life. I like to imagine that it just went dormant. Like a rose does in the winter. Boy, was my winter long!

So, here I am, some years later. I have my posse of semi-grown children, my same job that’s become non-challenging in every way, and my passion that has somehow floated back to the surface. Spring has sprung! Since the early signs of the new season, I’ve taken time and written a few books. Have I enjoyed it? I can’t tell you enough how much I’ve enjoyed it. They say time flies when you’re having fun. Well, I feel like only minutes have passed for these last two years. I’ve never felt so complete.

On the other side of the coin, I have friends who feel as if they have no passion for anything. They could merely work anywhere doing anything (within reason) and feel no different. Nothing pulls them, nothing drives them. How unfortunate. I’m not sure they would feel this way if they’d allow themselves to examine what exited them as children. That was the time when they could reflect on what attracted them. That’s when they knew themselves the best. Youth is a haven for endless possibilities. It seems as adults we have to wait until we’re unconscious to rekindle our passion. Researches say that the best ideas come to us while we’re asleep. I guess it’s because we’re at our most relaxed, with no outside distractions.

I suppose I was willing to forge ahead with doing what I was doing, had I not been tugged at by an inner voice to write again. It’s amazing, too, the stories I read about how some people find their passions very late in life and how much happier they are for having done so. And, after realizing it, they can see in their past how they’d missed or even denied the signs. I’ve run into some people lately and have told them of my new direction in life and I’m amazed how each one, independently, have told me they’re not surprised by it. It seems I had mentioned to them how I loved to write, at one time or another, in our friendship. I was astonished! I never knew I had been leaving breadcrumbs for myself to find my true passion in life.

I guess I can consider myself blessed. I know what I love to do and I’m able to do it. Some stay lost their whole lives in not being able to see what it is they were born with a passion to do. Or, is it that they’re not willing to take a risk and step out of their comfort zone and do it?