Thanksgiving Traditions

DAYI don’t really have a tradition; only that sometimes a turkey sits ON the table and other times it sits AT the table. We’ll find out which one will happen this year.

Since becoming an adult, dinner has been up for grabs at which house it will be at. Oh the days where all I had to do was show up with a plate and fork, eat, and then leave the scene. Now, there’s a slight possibility I’ll be hosting, and a super good chance I’ll be helping and/or cleaning it up. Forgive the scowl I might at times have on my face toward the little ones who inhale and flee.

This year I was asked to host the event at my house. And event is defined as thirty people attending, holding forks with mashed potato and gravy trances, and bellies growling so loudly that you’d think we lived near a train depot. Not a meal for ten, surely. But that’s what these feasts are for, right? I’m thankful to have a miniature fleet attending every year. Since when do we all get together at the same time and break bread? Once or twice a year to be exact. And there’s probably reasons for this. No, I’m just kidding. It’s fine we all eat together. Minus the children running and romping, it’s fun. Especially when my brother brings out the ol’gingerbread liquor concoction. Yum-o. And I don’t type that lightly. Double Yum-o. Isn’t it nice to have someone like something you make? You’d think, but when I’m asking for my fifth one…I get that look. I can’t help it. My taste buds look forward to it all year. The tiny bits of broken gingerbread, the lightly taupe colored elixir floating in the glass. I’m seeing tiny little gingerbread men dancing just thinking about it.

Anyway, over the years Thanksgiving has morphed into a couple different things. Of course it’s grown in number since I was young. Now everyone has someone and they have little someone’s, until it’s a line wrapped around the counter, where you’re hoping all the ham isn’t gone by the time you get there. And then there’s the couple of years that my sister made everyone go around the table and tell what we’re thankful for. Those were stressful. Yes it was a good idea; reflection is always a good thing. Thankfulness is always shined on well, but on the spot? And then to have everyone judge you for the one word you uttered? Obviously in order to play the game you had to be a philosopher.

The first year I could’ve sworn I broke out in a sweat. Thankful for? I don’t know. I didn’t want to sound lame and say family, or a warm house. Plus, everyone before me had already said something profound. I think that year I lowered my self underneath the table and crawled away. (I’m thankful for a bunch of stuff, I just don’t want to have it talked about and measured) The second year I was ready. I came rehearsed. My answer was also duplicated by the person sitting next to me. When it was my turn, I had nothing but to be thankful for the meal itself. Eye roll city! By the third year I told my mother to tell her not to do it anymore. It was making the children nervous:)

This year Thanksgiving was volleyed between my and my mother’s house. For a week solid it was thought to be at mine. I cleaned for hours, scrubbed my oven….then on the night before (last night to be exact) she called and said it would be at hers. I suppose that means Christmas is at mine. I have a few weeks till then. I’ll go easy on the dirtying up around here:)


The Wedding Ring Conundrum

wedding-rings-on-black-handswedding-rings-and-hands-black-4iwwiixrI turned on the news this morning and was amazed, as usual, to hear what is making headlines. There seems to be a lot of talk about Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner still wearing their wedding rings. As if it’s anyone’s business or a big deal. Who cares if they’re wearing giant, one-eyed parrots on their shoulders? But, it made me ponder the whole wedding ring conundrum. Personally, I don’t wear mine very much. If there’s an occasion and I’m dressing up I will put it on, or I’ll wear it for a few weeks and then put it away for a month. It just depends on my mood. What annoys me is when other people think it’s disrespectful or trashy not to wear one when you’re married. My comeback to them is, does wearing the ring make me more married? Am I only married when I’m wearing it? I know guys who cheat while wearing their wedding ring, and women, for that matter. Is it against some law of married conduct not to wear a ring? Who made up such a conduct?

With the Ben and Jen crisis going on:) I thought I’d take a look at the origin of the infamous wedding rings. It seems they date back many centuries ago in Europe. You see, 3,000 years ago, in ancient Egypt, during the engagement period, the man and woman would each wear a ring, usually made of a reed. It was a symbol of eternity, signifying their never ending love for one another. When they married, the two rings were then joined by a braid and the woman fashioned it on her left ring finger, where they believed a vein was housed, leading directly to the heart. (I feel my heart swoon just imagining the romanticism of it all:))

That was the single ring ceremony; the double ring ceremony is used in the United States. And until the 20th century, only women wore them. Then came a push to have men wear the rings, as well. Perhaps another gimmick to sell more jewelry, or the fact that equality was being attempted. After the wedding, the rings are worn on the fourth finger to display the couple’s external love for one another. It has become tradition and etiquette to do so. My feeling, as expressed in an earlier post, is that I don’t need a ring to show someone my love and devotion. Therefore, you will not find a ring at all times on my finger. I find it crazy that the media and fans of Ben and Jen are so wrapped up about the sight of their rings in the midst of their divorce. Divorce specialists, whomever they are, note that the power couple are sending a message to the public and to their children that they are united in their desire to co-parent. And, they think wearing a ring is going to do this? Who cares what the world thinks? Furthermore, do they think the ring has magical powers? Perhaps if they took their vows to heart, none of the outwardly crap would matter. “Till death do us part,” right? I don’t need a ring to remind myself of who I married or the fact that I am married. My morality guides me, not a piece of metal.

On a separate note, I probably would totally wear the ring all the times, if it had been a braid of the two of ours in which we wore singularly as an engaged couple. Now that’s romantic. Bling is not.