Having Conflict

CONFLICTI’ve regrettably been experiencing conflict lately. I mean, who likes conflict anyway? Who seeks it out and rolls around in it, loving all the things that go with it? The strife, the nasty words, the hidden meanings behind kinder words? I suppose I know some people who do. Doesn’t everyone? I ‘m not one of them.

But, if you think about it…what book or movie sells without having conflict? Conflict drives everything. Who wants to read about someone’s happy life? Page after page of hum-drum happiness. Yes, it’s great to be happy, but how do you know you’re experiencing happiness if you’ve never sat through a storm of discontentment? Do we know what hard is, if all we experience is soft?

So yes, although I very much hate going through this particular conflict, I must say, I will advance to greater things because of it. I never write a book with the intention that the conflict is going to kill off the characters. I write the conflict to sharpen them—make them see that now, because of it, they are happier.

Going through it, though, I feel choked, burdened, and undecided. My world, (not its entirety certainly), has become shaken a bit. Like a snow globe. One day I’m settled on where all the flakes have settled, and now they’ve been turned up, floating in the air, and I can’t seem to find peace until they’ve found a spot to land. Will they all land in the right spots?

On a brighter note, I dreamed of three white owls last night. I know, right? Really…the dream thing again? But I kid you not, these things happen to me. Who, out of nowhere, dreams of three white owls? Usually I’m dreaming of other weird stuff, but the kind of weird that I can see happened because of what happened the day before. i.e. I eat spaghetti at 11:00 pm and dream I’m at a party all night with noodles in my hair! That sort of thing.     So anyway,—I look up owls and it says that change is going to come and it’s a sign of wisdom. Yay for me! I failed to mention though, that one of the white owls died. It got spooked by my dog and died instantly. Total freak out moment for me!! I’m ignoring that clever part of the dream. Perhaps I have two more chances to get it right. ?

My truest advance apologies if this post comes across convoluted. I’m in the midst of watching my snowflakes land. And most hopeful that all the decisions I make in the following weeks will bring about the perfect spots for each and every one of them!



The Valentine’s Day Curse

th2SO887SESo, you think Valentine’s Day, you think love, puppies, hearts, chocolate, all things that are mushy, or whatever… However, I’m here to say, that some years ago, things went terribly wrong with Valentine’s day for me and my intended. Very wrong.

It began about nine or ten years into our relationship. Every time the calendar month changed to February, so did the tides of our attitudes with one another. It was as though we were entering into a time warp and as the fourteenth day of the month approached, we became more and more intolerant of each other. Without fail, the day in which all lovers celebrated with dinner, candy, and roses became our most dreaded. By then, we weren’t doing much communicating, other than a nod or a grunt for what we wanted for dinner. What was going on? Was he picking a fight not to have to endure the shopping for the perfect gift or searching for the prettiest card? No, he loved celebrating anything that involved buying me gifts and eating dinner out.

As time went on, when we saw the beginning of February approaching, we’d come to understand that Valentine’s day was off the menu. We wouldn’t even put it out there to the universe as something we were going to celebrate. Now, after much more time has passed, we’re just numb to the day. Valentine’s Day? So what. We’re not feeding the monster of strife.

We never uncovered the reason for our discontent for the thirteen days that led up to the day Cupid shoots arrows into lover’s hearts. Even our friends knew the deal, don’t mention V-day around those two.

I’m reporting now that not only did the curse seem to fade into the abyss, but so did the holiday. When February 14 arrives in our house, it’s more for our little ones who sign their folded Valentines to their friends at school. As for me and my lifelong boyfriend, we pay no attention to the candy, flowers, and packed restaurants. What we choose to ignore, shall remain ignored. And, that solves all the problems of February first through the thirteenth!