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Degrees of Lies

Do you believe there are degrees of lies? I do. Now I know what you might be thinking, a lie is a lie. No matter how you slice it, it’s an untruth. Yes, but what is the intent? What is the degree? We all lie. It’s the truth! We all lie. I feel like there’s a lie-ometer in everyone. Some reach high levels, some only move a millimeter, but we do it. I do it when I’m checking out at the grocery store and the girl asks politely how my day has been. It could be going awful, but I politely smile and say, ‘good’. Who wants to hear how bad my day has been? She’s just passing time and doing what she was taught in training. She doesn’t care. No big deal, no harm. And then there’s the lie of when someone comes to you with something they made and wants you to try it. Your stomach gut punches you as you grin and say, ‘it’s good. I like it.’ Again, we’re being polite with our white lie. The intent is to save someone’s feelings.

Then you get into the sticky, murky lies. The ones that buy you time. The ones that won’t cause harm, they just get you out of jail for a brief second until you rectify whatever it is you’re lying about. Like, ‘do you have that report finished?’ You almost do, and to say you don’t would create much more grief than if you say yes and run to your car for ‘gum’ and whip out the last few pages. That saves everyone. Yes, it’s a lie, but it’s correctable. No one is harmed and time is saved.

Then there’s the lie by omission. Now this is a very gray lie to me. Sometimes it’s a hard case to prove. To the liar, it’s not a lie. To the person being told, or not told in this case, it’s a lie through and through. Hmm…but would it hold up in court? This is where intent comes in. Yes, we’re omitting it to save time and feelings, but it would hurt if it were told. And that’s where the sting comes in. Brought to light it would most certainly hurt. If someone saw their ex-girlfriend/boyfriend for lunch and didn’t tell their significant other, or went to lunch with someone of the opposite sex whom they liked, and withheld that fact, is it a lie? See, now I’d have to say it wasn’t. It’s just sneaky. Sneaks are as dangerous as liars, so it compares in degrees.

Lastly is the bold faced liar. This is the one you can never trust, yet know for exactly who they are. This is the creep who has lunch with the ex and looks you in the eye and says they didn’t. NEVER trust this person. Are they redeemable? Who knows. Who knows if they are capable of telling the truth? Once you lie to someone’s face and realize how easy it is and how infrequent they get caught it can become an addiction. Like gambling, I suppose. Life becomes much easier to just lie. But keep this little gem in the back of your lying mind….lies are always brought to light. Always. And lies are very difficult to keep track of. The truth is much easier in the long run. Much easier. It can be as addictive. But be careful, the truth hurts. Oy!!

Enough about lies. It was a discussion I had this weekend with a friend who found out her boyfriend had lunch with an ex and did not disclose it. She was calling him a liar and I had to say it wasn’t a lie, just not full disclosure. Hmm…. what say you?

 

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Cover Reveal for “Searching For Sarah”

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As many of you may know…or not…I’ve started writing a new series–The Sarah Series. Sarah is in the beginning years of her thirties, wants to settle down, and then figure out the rest. But it’s the settling down part that’s been giving her trouble. The guys she dates either she likes and they don’t want to settle, or she doesn’t and they do. Sort of like life, huh?

Sarah Keller is a career student. It goes hand-in-hand with her indecisiveness about her future. Her foundation growing up was based solely on a single dad who lamented almost daily for his deceased wife–Sarah’s mom. She never got to know her, Sarah’s mom passed away in childbirth.

Becoming a nanny was the last thing Sarah intended to be. But life sometimes throws you a curve ball. And sometimes it’s guised as Sam Turner, and his cutie pie daughter, Sophie.

Sam is about 15 years Sarah’s senior, and fresh out of a relationship. He’s the last thing Sarah is looking to get involved with…but you know what they say about last things??

And so here is the cover! Please let me know if you like it. After all, covers are what we judge a book by, you know! 🙂   Have a great week, everyone! (And if you had even an inkling of interest, it’s 2.99 pre-order price on Amazon) Release date is April 27, 2017. If you sign up for my newsletter, you have a chance in winning the paperback copy, a whole month before it releases!! Cheers. 🙂 🙂

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Love Comes Quickly

Love-Pictures-2How quickly does love really come? How fast is too fast? I was asked this question not too long ago by someone who thinks they love someone only after a few weeks of talking. There have been two dates, telephone conversations, and endless texts between them. Hmmm…could it be love? I’m not sure. Maybe it’s infatuation. Is there a litmus test for love?

I read a review for my debut book, “Waking Amy” and they stated that the love between the hero and heroine happened too quickly. Don’t you kind of have to write it quickly? I mean, there’s only 250-300 pages to establish love. Less, if you want to add in a problem, some climax, and a conclusion, too! Certainly we don’t have the leisure to drag it out for three volumes. But doesn’t love happen that quickly in real life? My friend seems to ponder the question. And I would figure her to only be on about page 50 of her romance!

I was watching Dying Young tonight. You know…with Julia Roberts and Campbell Scott. Anyway, they were about 25% into the movie when it happened for them. Julia Robert’s character was about to leave when Campbell Scott seduced her and they slept together. BAM!! The next morning he declares his undying love and she returns the sentiment. Are you serious? Isn’t that a bit quick? Shouldn’t they date more than one time before sealing their fate with forever-talk? Couldn’t they’ve remarked how much they liked one another before diving into “here’s my heart, don’t break it”? It must be that I’m just so slow in coming to the conclusion about surrendering my soul to someone. But it works in fiction and movies. I get it. It has to. We only have but so long to convey the message. No heroine walks into a book halfway into a romance with the hero. How would the reader have empathy for anything they went through in the beginning of their romance? Where is the build? Oh yeah…it’s on pages 1-75. So, what makes it so unbelievable then to think my friend isn’t in love? I’m not sure, I just can’t wrap my head around it.

Point 2 that I can quickly recall. The movie, “The Longest Ride”, by Nicholas Sparks. The girl dates him only a one time before she rips off her clothes and magically they can’t live without each other. What? I found her to be a little loose quite frankly. I know, I know…that’s what sells. But is it real life? I guess so. For some. I don’t hang around people who have these types of things happen to them…but I wonder…is my friend going to fall to this “fictional” fate of love comes quickly? I’ll keep you posted. 🙂

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77%

Couple_bored_2475394kI was listening to the radio the other day at work, and they were talking about a poll done on couples. They said that 77% of women think a guy knows exactly what’s wrong when they’re quiet and say that nothing’s wrong. Or something to that effect. I laughed out loud at the guy announcer. He was shocked. Really? I’m certainly one of those 77. I believe that when I’m quiet, my boyfriend knows very well what’s wrong. He’d have to. I’m not a mystery. He knows me well enough. There’s context clues out there in the big, bad world. Or, do they just want to feign like they don’t know, just to get out of talking about it? That’s fine with me; I don’t want to talk about it either…but know I’m not happy…and you know why!

Then I told this poll’s results to another guy. You know, that I know full well that my guy knows what my problem is when I’m quiet. And HE was shocked! Are you serious? Are guys really that unaware? Don’t you think that after you say you’re going out on Saturday with the guys and I get quiet, there’s a correlation? Seriously?

On a separate, but related subject…

I thought it was funny… my daughter got into the car today after school and said two of her friends returned from being suspended. Oh my gosh! “What were they suspended for?” I asked. She said one choked a guy and the other unrelated event, was another girl hitting a guy for saying something about her friend (his ex-girlfriend). I know, I know. I have 4 boys; I’d be pretty ticked if a girl choked or hit my son, but being a girl made me chuckle. Those girls were trying to get through to those guys. Wrong way to do it, of course. But, I don’t think that generation sounds too much like the quiet type. Those guys should have no problem with percentages of trying to figure out a girl. I don’t think they’ll give them the chance!

 

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Writer’s Block Denial

writers-blockSo for about a month, I haven’t really written. Okay…maybe a few pages. But even those felt forced. And don’t they, whoever ‘they’ are, say that you should write every day, whether you want to or not?

Perhaps the reason I couldn’t write was because of all my release things going on. Perhaps it was because my chair felt uncomfortable, I had too many clothes to wash, the moon wasn’t out…I don’t know. Whatever it was, it wasn’t happening when I lit up the ‘Word’ function of my keyboard.

Let’s face it, you can’t force inspiration. It’s either there or it isn’t. Specifically, I’m writing the third and final installment of my Amy series. I marvel that I finished the second one. It’s such a relief to know it’s finished. It even passed the beta reader tests. Two thumbs up, they said.

I know what it is! It’s the pressure to get it right again. Look at “Fifty Shades of Grey.” That girl has got to feel the pressure. Incidentally, I’ve heard not so rave things about the second book. I mean, once you did it amazingly right the first time…    And “Harry Potter”? Didn’t she write the next book unaffiliated with it, under a different pen name? Did she feel the pressure, too?

Not saying that “Waking Amy” is all that. But, I felt strained to do the second one. Albeit, it’s over with and I like it more than the first…but then I have a third one to contrive. I need this one to be the best of all three. End with a bang. Shrimps on the Barbie!, if you know what I mean. Maybe it’s a series thing. I don’t feel this pressure for writing standalones.

Whatever the reason, I identify myself with being a supreme procrastinator. (see previous blog post on this problem) I have to have someone breathing down my neck, a gun pointed to my piggy toe…just to get it moving.

But good news! I wrote an outstanding 7,000 words today. And it wasn’t that difficult. Once I get all the imaginary people in one room, they tend to start talking. Then the buzzer rings, and I have to put the dinner on the table! Oh well, I’ll start again tomorrow. Hopefully, Amy will remember where we left off, and the lines she’s supposed to be saying. 🙂

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The Hope to Rebuild Love

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Dear Wesley,

Why is it so difficult to stop a train wreck from occurring? Is it because the train tracks show no signs of bowing and cracking? Does anyone even take the time to check the foundation, to make sure it’s in tact? Or is the train traveling so quickly that the tracks become a blur and all sense of time becomes fleeting, as well? Does the train, itself, not show signs of malfunction? Sounds, like tiny-spurted screeches that go ripping through the blacked-out tunnels become unnoticed? Are we paying so much attention to other things that we don’t hear the rattling in the background? Of the bolts and screws that were once securely attached, becoming loosened with every wrong movement that’s made. It becomes white noise to our every day routines.

Aren’t there little hints of problems along the way to our destination? A bump, we felt, that perhaps had us reach for something to hold onto, but when the moment passed, we just sat back down and stared aimlessly out the window as if nothing just happened? We just want to make it successfully to our next station without creating a fuss about anything.

Was there a date I could find circled on my calendar that showed when the last time was that you held my hand? Did my hand, by shear rejection, stop waiting for your reach? Could I say for certainty that I was held blameless in not ever calling and checking on you when the second hand on the clock swept by the hour twice and you hadn’t made it home yet? In my defense, the first three occasions my call when unanswered, so went away my concern.

In the end, did my thoughts throughout the day ever stray to imagine your face, smiling and looking back at me? They might have if I could’ve remembered what it felt like to be seen by your eyes. To remember what your smile looked like.

When was the last time you touched me? Reaching for the light switch and grazing my arm doesn’t count. Although the skin on skin contact made me recall older memories of your caresses. Like lying in bed and being folded into your arms as you played with the contour of my arm with your teasing fingertips. The memory makes me smile, now, thinking about it. Something I haven’t done for quite some time.

Funny thing about train wrecks, no one sees them coming.  But, when the smoke settles on the debris that stretches as far as the eye can see, you can suddenly recall every worn track, every bump in the night, every jeer and every silent dinner, you had along the way. A lot of times, it’s only after the wreck that you can see where it got off the tracks. But, as we stand here among the destruction of our train wreck, there’s only one thing I want.

To rebuild it…better…with only you.

Amy

And, this time, we will vow to slow down when we feel a bump and see what it’s all about before we dismiss it and continue on.

Thoughts From: WAKING AMY (Feb 2016)