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What we don’t say

Let’s be honest, what we don’t say is probably more important than what we do say. Have you ever sat and thought about all the things you didn’t say in a single day? How strangled the words were, locked deep inside your mind? And why on earth would we strangle our own words? They’re only words after all. Words that we feel. Words that pop into our minds the very second something happens or is said, and we want to unleash them and just feel better for saying it.

Okay, I understand. Sometimes we might not think the most angelic thoughts…is that it? We might find what we are holding back is a tad, okay, very judgmental. Did that person even ask our opinion about what we thought? Probably, probably not. But you’re certainly giving it to them in your head. “That was the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. Your girlfriend is a moron, and you need not spend one extra minute being around her. She might be contagious with her nasty.” Instead we might remain politically correct (ew, I hate that) and say “Maybe she didn’t mean to hurt your feelings when she said the job you have could be done by a fifth grader. Maybe she’s just having a bad day.”

Or we don’t say things in order to not hurt someone’s feelings. “This spaghetti she made tastes like the cardboard box the noodles slid out of.” Still…a good idea to keep the door locked on what we really think. Plus, It’s a bit amusing to do stand-up comedy in our heads sometimes. It can amuse us, especially when we’re gutting down tasteless spaghetti and smiling while it gets clogged down our esophagus.

But then there are the times that these little ol’ four, five, six, maybe seven letter words should be set free. Like when they’ve been bottled up for so long, if you set them underneath a rocket they would shoot it right to the moon. It’s been too long, too suppressed. They’ve made you ill. Poison seeps from the depths of where they remain locked away and slowly begins to kill you. Day after day. Slowly the jet propulsion ability they had become echoes in your mind like a deranged patient, clanging the cup along the cell bars of where they’re locked. “Tell them the truth. Just do it.”

Flip side: The person who does not own a filter. They were born sans any way of never letting you know exactly what is on their mind, what they think, and how you look. These people scare me. They’re a little like a talking mirror. You don’t want to go up to them and ask how those pants make you look. You already know, anyway. They can be rude, outspoken, sometimes hurtful, but when we want to know the truth, they are who we seek out. I can appreciate a filter-less person sometimes. If anything to go and have an honest talk with. No pretenses. No bull. Just a little of like-it-is. Yeah, the world isn’t full of these people. Remember there is a tiny delineation to being honest and just mean. I’ll take the honest and leave the mean.

Sigh.

That was certainly a deep subject. It was just something on my mind. Driving home tonight I pondered the words that keep me company inside my mind. Words that I’d like to share, but don’t. Words that may surprise some, but we’ll never find out. Or won’t we?

Okay, so enough of the knee-deep thoughts. Or were they head-deep? lol Back to what’s going on. It’s been forever, right? Well, I’m still working on my next series. I am so excited about this series. I’ve learned so much with writing my other ones. I’ll share a bit about what’s going on with this new journey….

This is Lucy…Isn’t she a lovely girl? Lady, whatever. Well, love stinks for Lucy. Or so she will soon find out. But on her way to the grand epiphany, she will meet…Martin. He’s a rich (of course) bachelor and the love interest of her good friend. But does he really feel the same way for this friend? I mean, really?

I get chills just thinking of all the twists and turns they are about to go on. And don’t think they’re hooking up. No, no, no. Oh, didn’t I mention? Lucy’s married. And before anyone rolls their eyes and tags my story for a cheater convention, let me stop you now. There is no cheating going on. Well, not with the people who matter. Look at that, I’ve already said more than enough. You’re really going to have to stay tuned to some more tidbits of where my mind wanders. It’s a crazy place, you know.

Stay lovely, friends! It’s Monday, but that’s okay. If we’re lucky, we’ll get to Friday. 🙂

 

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My Why

When you do something, you might sometimes ask yourself why. Why am I eating three more oreo cookies? Especially after I’ve eaten five. Hmm…probably because the milk tastes so good as it’s mushed against the cream. Certainly not because it’s on the food pyramid and you need that extra serving. Or maybe you don’t ask anything, ignore your mother’s voice saying ‘you’ll get fat, then you won’t be eating that junk’. You just open up and plop it in, only to regret it in the morning when the muffin top that was manageable yesterday, just busted like a can of biscuits. Wow, I really rolled down that alley of tangent, didn’t I? And I want some cookies to boot. 🙂 Anyway…..asking why can keep you grounded. Keep you focused. Or maybe take you off the course of something that wasn’t so good. So I ask myself, why do I write? My life is busy. I mean really…I have 6 kids, a job, lots of laundry (did I say lots? I mean I have so much that I will never see any basket bottoms ever). Writing takes so much time. So much effort. So much staring into space and creating. Typing and backspacing because you feel it’s crap. Why put myself through it? I’ll tell you why.

I love it.

I love to tell the story of people living inside my imagination. Seeing their words and thoughts on paper. Walking through the life of a messed up girl or guy and taking rights and lefts (or wrongs) and ending up in a happily ever after. Trust me, happily ever after wasn’t always the case. Now, as I’m aging, who wants to read three hundred pages just to have a semi-trailer truck run them over in the last ten pages? I write because it’s well with my soul. And the cherry on top? Having other people read it and connect with me. Not the haters, of course. We all know they exist. You know, the people who can be sitting on a beach with a gorgeous cocktail and man by their side, waves crushing the sand, sun beaming at just the right temperature, and they’re still not happy. For you, I, along with the free world, cannot make you happy. And I’m okay with that. Pick my stories apart. Whatever makes you feel better. But for the reader who gets it. Who is like me, join my table and feast upon another tale of messy love. For you, I write the stories. For you, I want to chat with. Life is about relationships. When we’re told we have little time left to live, do we say ‘I’m going to really miss my house’? No. We miss people. Pets. Maybe even doing our passion. Things? Never. Writing is very isolating work. It’s so nice to finally release my stories to readers and wait to hear what they got from it.

It’s release day for me, and I’m always anxious to see the reviews. One day I hope to reach a platform where I get more feedback. That’s a lovely goal. Until then, I’ll keep writing. Because I love it.

Have a lovely weekend, everyone. I’m off to visit the Carolinas with my husband. It’s a pretty big birthday for him and we have a generous babysitter. I can’t wait!!

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Heartbroken on Valentine’s Day

We all know that Valentine’s Day and me aren’t friends. Haven’t been for years. It just always turned out to be a crap day. Even when I did have a legitimate Valentine. It’s like Cupid circles my head and shoots flaming darts. But this one…this day started out fine. I finally remembered the cookies for my daughter’s school party. The teachers have only been after me all week. Yesterday they stapled a reminder…stapled! a reminder to her backpack. Then left another note inside her binder. I get it! Cookies. Anyway, I remembered. Then I set out and got everyone close to me a valentine, some fashion of a sweet, and a little $5 nothing. But something, really. I got my daughter a musical on DVD, my son these beans he collects. (They have magnets inside). And yada, yada, yada. I went in late to work, scored a free lunch, and went home to have a wonderful dinner made for yours truly. Whew, I made it. Then a few things happened, or as we know it, Cupid shot the first flame. First, my daughter confided that everyone in her homeroom got a carnation, some even 2 or 3, and she was the ONLY one who got nothing. None. Who does this? Why can’t the teacher read on the sheet who is getting one, have extras, and make sure no one leaves the room without one? Nope. So there my little girl sported around all day without a flower. She said she seriously could have cared less. Right. But alas, there is NOTHING I can do to right that wrong. Valentine’s Day is going to become one less rocking day to her, as well. Then my littlest boy comes to me and hands me 3 Valentine’s cards he received. 3. Not one of those homemade shoe boxes you used to make to hold the 20 that would come, but 3. He’s in the 5th grade, so you’re not asked to exchange them. In fact, they didn’t even send out a sheet with a list of names. And he didn’t want to give any–he’s a boy. And so it hit me. Hard. This is his last year in elementary school. The last time it will even be an option. (let me wipe the tears as I continue to write). My kids are growing up too fast. Way too fast. Said daughter will get her driver’s permit next month. Where does this leave me? I’ll tell you where. In a fetal position, crying my eyes out, surrounded by scrap books of all my little babies. Is this what empty nest feels like? Aren’t we supposed to be waiting until they fly out?        Nope.

I think I need to give serious thought to admitting I can’t live here anymore. For health reasons of not tolerating the cold, I must leave. I must find a place closer to the sun, with a dash of salt water, and lots of warm air. Like lots. It’s getting worse the older I become. Scratching ice off my windshield each morning, wearing layers like an onion, and practically sitting on a space heater at my desk is getting old. Way old. What happened to global warming? When is it happening? I can take a month of cold. Tops. After Christmas it needs to snap back to a cool spring of 6 months. Why can’t this be done? For crying out loud.

Oh yeah, I suffered through strep throat last week. Um, don’t ever want to do that again. Luckily no one caught it. I stayed in bed for 3 days. So unlike me. Even my bones were crying to stand up again. It was awful. This is what it felt like when I swallowed.No joke.

I’m gearing up for my book release, and writing my next book at the same time. It’s amazing how I can catch such a tailwind of writing, then sit down for a second and wonder, “where is this thing going?” And that my friend is the intercom calling for WRITER’S BLOCK. Never ask yourself where this is going. Just drive. The story will find its destination just fine. So, I’m off to not ask myself any questions, not ponder how my littles are growing up, and not thinking twice about adding another pair of socks or sweater to my already 2 layers. Peace out and have a great weekend!

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Writing with Modesty

I often think…how do some actresses get in front of the camera and take all their clothes off? I have trouble getting undressed in my closet, let alone for the free world to see. Albeit, if I looked like some of those women, I might…no, I still wouldn’t. I mean, don’t they have parents that is going to see that movie? Isn’t there a shaw-wearing grandma somewhere on their family tree that they will never be able to sit across the dinner table and not feel like she just saw me doing naughty things with a guy? Does this mean I won’t get her passed-down pasta recipe now?

Enter my thoughts on writing… My mother, God bless her soul, reads every one of my books. For that, I’m truly appreciative. After all, I feel I get my imagination from her. BUT it makes me feel weird when I write certain subject matter. I am in no way a steamy writer, so that’s not a biggie. I was the girl in gym class changing in the bathroom stall until the 10th grade. After that, I just wore two layers of clothes so I didn’t look like a freak going into the back corner. What makes us modest? I’m not sure. It can’t be genetic. My two sisters can walk out in the street naked, if needed. I’m the one shrouded in button-up sweaters and two tee shirts underneath that. My daughter, coincidentally is the same way as me. LOL That’s why I got a tickle out of someone promoting my books as steamy. What a scream! They obviously didn’t read it. 🙂 Still, this last release was my most edgy. I think I wrote the word breast at least a handful of times. he-he  But then there was the bad word. Nothing to do with physical modesty, but it was out of my comfort zone to write it. Sure, I’ve said it aloud a few times. That’s when whoever around me knows I mean serious business. And so I typed it with rapid strokes, mid-story. I was in the character’s head and it felt so right. So necessary. Is vulgarity ever necessary? I asked myself. I even pondered it with my son. I’ve watched so many movies where if only they’d left out a scene, my kids could’ve watched it. Or if the writer had refrained from the unnecessary language, all of us could’ve enjoyed it. So did my book require that word? My book didn’t, but my character did. And so I kept it. You have to be careful…too many of these and you lose readership of those you gained for not writing like that in the first place. Hopefully not too much thought was wasted on it, and it was brushed over quite quickly. Just as it was written.

Back to modesty, how modest are you? Does it play into what you read? What you write? I don’t mind reading racy. In fact, sometimes I like it. Depending on the book. Writing women’s fiction, racy doesn’t usually get a lot of play. Perhaps that’s why I like writing it!

Have a grand day, everyone!

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New Book, New Look

Were you tired of seeing Sarah on all the covers? Or rather her hands, her torso, or her covered head? Well this time it appears to be a cover of her happily ever after guy!! Yummy…who will it be? I’ve been so happy writing my final Sarah. It’s bittersweet, actually. Just like writing the final Amy. I was so sad to see her go. I’d gotten so accustomed to writing her I felt like I was losing a friend. Same with Sarah. But I find it okay because I send them out with the guy of their dreams…or do I? You know how fickle we are, right? I’ve been giving serious thought about Amy… What if….

Okay, okay… but anything could happen. Then this might happen!You know you wouldn’t mind! You never know…

So back to Sarah. She is ready to find love, for Pete’s sake! And she will in book 3. Finally. There’s a lot of possibilities, but there is one that sticks. And I can’t wait until you read which one! It’s on sale now on pre-order, and it releases January 4th. I’m super excited. I hope you are, too.

 

Warning: This book will have closure!

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Full Circle

Well I did it! I made it through my son’s first year at college. 🙂 I feel like I was just here…plucking away at this computer, moaning and groaning about what I was going to do without him. And next week he’ll be back. Never more to be a freshman. I pointed this fact out to him this weekend, and he’s sort of bummed about it. Yes, he’s quite a sensitive chap. Things like never being a single digit again (turning 10 was big for him), or his last year home as a “kid”, were milestones. But I think he’s ready to return. I’m ready for him to return. It’s not terrible when he’s away for a long time. I get used to it. But when he comes back for say a week, it’s hard to get used to him being gone again.

Anyway, onto other things. I have a book releasing this week! Woo-hoo. Can’t wait. Jumping up and down on the inside. You just can’t see it. 🙂 It’s amazing to think I’m beginning another series, but I am. As usual, I’m a bit nervous how everyone will perceive Sarah. I’m resolved to know there will be some who don’t get her, some who think I’m writing their own story, and a few that stop reading after page 10. I get it. I’m that person, too. Everyone is. Reading is so subjective. For instance, I’m judging a writing competition this month, and there was one submission that I couldn’t read. I had to turn it back in and request someone else judge it. It wouldn’t be fair for me to do it. It’s just not my cup of tea. Heck, it wasn’t even tea, in my world. It’s not that it was poorly written, it just wasn’t something I could endure any longer. Past page four. But it amazes me how someone can read something I’ve written, not reach page 10 and plaster it with a one star on Amazon and Goodreads. I was raised that if you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything. Oh well, not all were raised with the same theory, I suppose.

Onto depressing. Because doesn’t everyone need a bit of gloom in their day? Not really, but I had to mention it. Erin Moran died. Joanie Cunningham, as I’ll always remember her. What a sad life she turned out to have. I mean you have Ritchie, the now-director of blockbuster films, then you have his kid sister. Living without money, in a very depressed fashion of a life. What happened, Joanie? It in no way resembled her character on Happy Days. I think some people, no matter what cards they’re dealt, will have to struggle. And it’s sad. 56 years old. Rest in peace.

I hope everyone has a great week. I’ve got 3 birthdays to celebrate this week. My daughter’s is one of them. All of my kids get to choose their dinner and their dessert on their day. She has chosen spaghetti (in which I like the least…okay, I hate spaghetti), and white cake and white icing. Is she even my kid? No chocolate? I’m going to have to serve chocolate ice cream on the side or something. I hope I can make it without wincing. White on white?

Until next time!

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Greetings, From One Happy Author

happy-writerToday marks the publication of my fifth book!! Can you believe it? Five….let me think about that for a second. It wasn’t too long ago that I was trying to spit out book 2 in my Amy series. And now Mister Five is debuting. Hard to believe. And all in one year, I might add! I hope this doesn’t come across braggy or anything. That’s one thing I don’t do, but I’m amazed how my year has gone down. I’m happy to have been able to achieve this. I didn’t really set out to do it. I didn’t have a plan at all, really. The words kept coming, the fingers kept moving, and there you have it! Book five, “The Secret He Keeps”, is hitting the market today.

I must admit, I’m a bit nervous about this one. I’ve had some mixed reviews. Some don’t like the ending…or should I say, ‘who done it’. And as you know that all it takes is for one or two people not to like an outcome and poof, there’s that crazy self-doubt…strutting in like he owns the town. In this case, my mind. You see, it begins to wander and pace and think, ‘should I rewrite some things? make it pleasing to the ones that don’t like it?’ Or, should I stand confident that I do like the outcome. I wrote it for Pete’s sake. No, not everyone is going to like everything you write, but be proud of it. It’s your words. It’s your heart inside those pages.

The second reason I could be feeling antsy might be because it’s different from the other books I’ve published. Not so much “A Reason to Stay”, but from Amy. Amy is shy, naive, and borderline G-rated. Rachel, from “The Secret He Keeps’, not so innocent! There is more colorful language, and the storyline is way over on the other end of the spectrum from dear, sweet, innocent Amy. I’m hoping it doesn’t prove to dissapoint my Amy fans.

Aside from all the self-doubt a writer goes through before placing their work in the hands of readers, I’m hoping for great reviews. (fingers crossed) Writing about complicated love and messy people isn’t easy. It’s not predictable, and it gets sticky in situations. For all those who give Rachel a chance, to see what lies behind that locked memory of hers, thank you bunches. After all, she’s just an ordinary woman, suppressing some extraordinary feelings. It’s a technique that’s got her this far, but how will she handle life when all the memories come crashing down?

Here’s my giveaway for someone to take a liking to Amy! She’s still one of my favorites. 🙂 Good luck on winning.

http://www.rafflecopter.com/rafl/display/b9a55db3187/?

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New Release Set to Roll Out!

julieanndove_thesecrethekeeps_450x675I will admit…this is my favorite book. Well, of mine. I love them all for different reasons, but this one was the beginning of my journey as a writer. I can’t tell you how many drafts this thing has seen. It looks NOTHING like the first one. Or the second one, and certainly not the fifth and sixth one. This thing has morphed into…well, this!

“The Secret He Keeps” has had all kinds of different titles, as well. I entered it into a contest four years ago under the name “Gravity”. It was a finalist, but no cigar, by the way. And then I had “Side Effects of Widowhood”. That stuck for awhile. That was actually my favorite rendition. “The Heart Remembers” has  also been saved with some changes on my computer. Alas, this is the winner of all my indecisiveness. 🙂

I’ve loved writing this in so many ways, too. It began with way more people involved in the plot, too. Then it came down to just two! I so hope you’re going to like them. Rachel is another complicated, messy woman I’ve dreamed up. She’s lost her husband to a car accident. One that she survived. One that provided her with a selective memory of the past. And she has no idea that it’s the very fragile thread that keeps her sane. Not recalling the self-destruction her husband went through is protecting his perfect image she carries in her mind. It’s also protecting the image she has of herself. But someone knows all about it. And you’re not going to believe who it is!

Warning–I’ve written my first clue-type book. I wouldn’t really categorize it as a mystery, but it certainly has a tiny bit of suspense. And just 9 weeks until it releases…

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Fall is Coming Fast!

fall-coloringThe leaves are beginning to change color here! I can’t believe it. It seems the very second school goes back in session, the weather gets colder and the leaves begin to change. Next week I’ll take down all my summer decorations, and prepare for the fall ones! It makes the house seem so different with the yellow, orange, and brown hues.

So I picked up my son for the Labor day weekend. It was great having him home. It was as if he never left. But tis Monday, and he’s leaving again. 😦  We were able to go out with the family though on Saturday. We shopped, ate, and toured the burg a bit. Sunday he mostly did homework. Which was okay, because  I wrote the better part of the day. It was a productive time, creatively speaking.

I have a new writing room in my house. It’s pretty cool. My photos of inspiration are tacked on a board, above where I write. Constant muse, huh? My work in progress is a bit different than Amy. I find I’m hedging on the side of suspense. Which totally makes sense. I love crime shoes. Not that my books will be anything intensive and murder driven, but the tint of mystery will keep a good pace about it, I hope.

Three day weekends are fun, but it messes with me until Friday. I always feel a day behind. Today, which is Monday, does not feel as such. It feels like Sunday. I will be trying to find that missing day until Friday, at which time I’ll say…”Friday already?”

Not much other to report. I have my “Waking Amy” offered for free at the moment. Hopefully it will give readers a chance to start the series and follow up with the third one, which releases in three short weeks! I’m so completely excited. And…”A Reason to Stay” is on sale for .99 cents. I check in to see if any new reviews are happening. They are what feed my writing. I love to read what people think of the characters.

https://www.instafreebie.com/free/rVURO

I’m gearing up for the final release of the year. Unless something happens, it will debut December 8th. It is the first in my suspense romance line. Personally it’s my favorite. I’ve been munching on this story for four long years. It has changed so much, I don’t recall what happened in the first draft! I’ll have to celebrate when this one come out, for sure. It was the first story that got me into writing professionally. 🙂

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So Long, August

september-1August was definitely a challenging month for me. I had exactly two weeks before all the chaos began to take place. And who can rest when all they hear is the constant ticking of the clock…tick, tock…tick, tock.

I had to spend the first part of the month preparing for back to school for everyone, including the preparation of sending my first born off to fend for himself in the throws of college. At a place he’s unaccustomed to, without anyone he knows. It was horrific. Perhaps more for me than him. Yes, I got upset. Who doesn’t? For eighteen years I did everything for that boy. And now I’m lucky if I get a phone call from him every couple of days. Which I’m not complaining. Okay, so I am…but I’m happy he’s not homesick and burning the wires telling me he’s got nothing to do. In fact, he’s more busy with four classes than he was with six at home. He’s become very social. And so I’m most happy for him.

Then came the new classes for everyone else in the family. And new teachers. It’s been quite a learning curve to know who will tolerate what and who won’t let you use the bathroom. Can you believe my 10 year old isn’t allowed to use the bathroom in the afternoon? Hello? By then, all the juices and water fountain trips are beginning to settle in the bladder. So I have to endure the car ride home with him doing a jig in the backseat. I simply advised him, upon being told he can’t use the bathroom, to ask if they still keep an emergency set of pants on hand…and do it in his chair. Is this obnoxious? Un-called for? Probably, but come on. Let the boy go take care of business, for goodness sakes.

So the schedules are now in place and September is upon us. I’m getting in the groove of how it’s going to be for the ending months of the year. And September is the month of the release for “Finding Amy.” I’m so excited about this! I’ve had a couple people read it and gotten really good comments. Squee!! And I’m putting it out there for free, for a limited time…just to get everyone primed for the third release. So please feel free to take advantage of this! And of course, let me know what you think. I love to read reviews. …well, some of them. 🙂

With that said, welcome, September! I’m happy to see you back around.

https://www.instafreebie.com/free/rVURO