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My Planner, My Enemy

Usually this is the case. Yes, I’m that girl. It takes me hours of research, standing in the aisles of hobby stores looking at stickers, to plan for my planner. I’ve gotten very serious about it these past couple of years. For 2 years in a row I couldn’t decide which planner to buy so I bought two. I used one for the first half and the other for the second half. And boy did I hate that. I felt like I was cheating on the first one. And I had to refer back to it all the time. But I couldn’t let those pre-dated pages go wasted on the other one. I had to stick to the plan and plan on the planner. Shesh. And then March came. Yeah, it was all good for the first quarter–I planned, highlighted, stickered everything, then…..I was sick of the accountability. Sick of seeing the boxes unchecked, the blank pages of the journal part mocking me. I closed that sick piece of tailor-made, beautiful thing, all glitzy and glamoured. And we all know, once you fall back two weeks, three weeks, or more, you get soft to it. Who cares that I’m not documenting that dental appointment, or that I have to do this or that and if I don’t write it down I’ll forget it. Say like those graduation pictures I was supposed to buy or those announcements to send with them. It’s only a couple weeks before he walks, I’m hoping Jostens figures this out and does a rush on those babies. Ugh.

I feel like such a rebel having not used my planner for a month. As if I’m irresponsible. Forgetful. Spitting in the wind. It’s scary out here without protection from scheduled items. I hope I survive!

Moving on.. it’s been a week since the dentist. I. hate. flossing. I did it in the past occasionally, but now that I have to (due to the fact she’s re-checking me in 4 weeks) I hate it. It’s a nasty process. And that’s all I’m saying about that. I’m going out tomorrow and finding a water gun for my gums. Anything that keeps me from rubbing dirty string in nooks and crannies. Yuk.¬†

So now that the planner has been sufficiently hidden, I’ve managed to get things done. A few weeks late. Nonetheless they’re getting done. For instance, I got a bed and sofa moved last night. (not that I would plan that per say, I’d just list it as a goal and then watch as it stayed on the page not getting checked off). I knew it wouldn’t anyway, so I didn’t bother listing it. Alas they got moved. At nine o’clock at night. Because we know that’s how I roll. The later the better. I get my second wind at 7 in the evening. At 3 I feel like I could shut my eyes and go in a coma. Eventually I come around and begin again. My poor kids had to shut their doors to avoid all the vacuuming that was going on next to their rooms. It’s the only time I can work on things like that. Had I had my planner, I’d have sorted time for groceries, had dinner earlier, and avoided the late night banging. Better luck when I bring it back out, I guess.

It rained all day. I would’ve loved snuggling underneath some fleece and catching up on some trashy television. You know, cop shows and maybe a movie or two. Then I would’ve hated myself when evening came and I had nothing to show for my day. But it was raining! Free day for all. ūüôā¬†

Now I’m going to introduce a new segment to my blog…Don’t you hate it when. I’ll start. Don’t you hate it when…you get in the shower and forget to take your razor? Yeah, three weeks of this can cause some problems.¬†

Have a grand week, all! I’m birthday shopping tomorrow. Don’t you just love shopping? I hope I don’t buy too much for myself. LOL

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Work in Progress

IMG_0634During my word drought, I still have the need to create. So I chose to work on this wall hanging I began a few months ago. It’s a type of whimsical flag quilt. Of course, after I cut and sewed on all the flags, I got distracted with another project. That’s just like me! Why¬†can’t I see something through to the finish? Without it taking years to complete? I made curtains for my sewing room. Well, one curtain. After I saw what my window looked like, I closed up my thread box and haven’t finished the other three windows in two years. Ahhh…

I’ve recently added the yellow strings and I’m working on¬†including some more¬†color with borders for this quilt. Forgive the wrinkles–it’s been smooshed into the corner of my work station. And it’s muslin. It’s being a bit stubborn.

I enjoyed picking out the different candied flags. I’m not sure where exactly it would look good. Perhaps a candy shop? The¬†quilt I fashioned if¬†from was made with¬†lemon-lime colors and¬†draped across¬†a crib. It was quite cute. But I have no idea what I’ll do with this one!¬† Should I ever complete it. ūüôā¬† I think I hear my dusty Etsy shop calling.

IMG_0635

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Writer’s Block Denial

writers-blockSo for about a month, I haven’t really written. Okay…maybe a few pages. But even those felt forced. And don’t they, whoever ‘they’ are, say that you should write every day, whether you want to or not?

Perhaps the reason I couldn’t write¬†was because of all my release things going on. Perhaps it was because my chair felt uncomfortable, I had too many clothes to wash, the moon wasn’t out…I don’t know. Whatever it was, it wasn’t happening when I lit up the ‘Word’ function of my keyboard.

Let’s face it, you can’t force inspiration. It’s either there or it isn’t. Specifically, I’m writing the third and final installment of my Amy series. I marvel that I finished the second one. It’s such a relief to know it’s finished. It even passed the beta reader tests. Two thumbs up, they said.

I know what it is! It’s the pressure to get it right again. Look at “Fifty Shades of Grey.” That girl has got to feel the pressure. Incidentally, I’ve heard not so rave things about the second book. I mean, once you did it amazingly right the first time…¬†¬†¬† And “Harry Potter”? Didn’t she write the next book unaffiliated¬†with it, under a different pen name? Did she feel the pressure, too?

Not saying that “Waking Amy” is all that. But, I felt strained to do the second one. Albeit, it’s over with and I like it more than the first…but then I have a third one to contrive. I need this one to be the best of all three. End with a bang. Shrimps on the Barbie!, if you know what I mean. Maybe it’s a series thing. I don’t feel this pressure for writing standalones.

Whatever the reason, I identify myself with being a supreme procrastinator. (see previous blog post on this problem)¬†I have to have someone breathing down my neck, a gun pointed to my piggy toe…just to get it moving.

But good news! I wrote an outstanding 7,000 words today. And it wasn’t that difficult. Once I get all the imaginary people in one room, they tend to start talking. Then the buzzer rings, and I have to put the dinner on the table! Oh well, I’ll start again tomorrow. Hopefully, Amy will remember where we left off, and the lines she’s supposed to be saying. ūüôā

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Deadlines and What they do to Me

DEADLINEI officially have deadlines. For so long I’ve written on my own timetable. Edited when I felt like it, developed characters when I took walks, and proofread only on days I had time. Now it seems it’s going to change.

As I look at the 300 page manuscript glaring back at me, I laugh. Not the Joker kind of laugh, but a timid little mouse laugh. Edged with a sense of denial. “Yeah, that thing’s due soon, but whatever … I’ve got time.”¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬† Three weeks later I’m looking at the computer monitor with Scotch-taped open eyes,¬†a huge Mocha Frappuccino, and shaky fingers¬†… the clock chiming, 1:00 a.m.¬† Why do I do this? It’s seriously something wrong with the wiring in my head. My daughter gets a school assignment for two weeks out, and it’s finished that night before the ink is dry on the instructions.

Maybe I feel like I’m holding the work for later. Letting the idea marinade that it’s something to be done. Maybe I do my best when a gun is cocked to my head. Who knows. As I type this very blog, I glance over to my massive pile of paper and deny it’s there … ticking like a bomb. Whatever, I’ll get to it. Right after I fill the birdfeeders and water my plants. Then I know I’ll be ready:)

On a most happy note, I just signed a contract with a new publisher for another book. It’s due out next summer and I couldn’t be more thrilled about it. Having my work in the hands of readers is unlike anything. Of course, if they’re mean in reviews, I’ll hide under a rock. But I’ll cross that denial bridge when I come to it. For now, it’s a dreamy-eyed notion that I’m going to be published again. It’s just the beginning!!!!

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Ten Things I Love, Ten Things … not so much

windy-day

Ten things I love: (in no particular order)

  • a baby’s breath
  • fresh cut flowers on the table
  • an elderly couple holding hands
  • Brussels sprouts (I know, right? I could actually, and have done so before, made a meal out of them)
  • singing (I pity the carjacker hiding in my backseat when I get started)
  • Dr. Pepper (goes without saying)
  • sitting in the surf
  • Friday nights
  • standing in the wind (strong enough to make me lose balance)
  • wearing black

Ten things … not so much

  • finding a hair in my food (going to go hungry for that meal:)
  • seeing myself in pictures (is that how I look?)
  • feet (flip flops should’ve never been invented)
  • shaking hands (bit of a germ freak)
  • regret
  • appointments (kill me now) Why can’t everything be by chance?
  • bugs
  • procrastination (although I am a champion at it)
  • last day of vacation
  • thinking of¬†5 better things I could’ve said¬†when I had the chance