Random Thoughts

motivationI feel as though someone has taken the cord from my motivational outlet and done away with it. And I don’t much care. Have you ever had a day such as this? Yeah, I got my work done at work. Money was counted, disbursed to the correct accounts, and emails were appropriately dealt with, but now that I’ve returned home…I’ve got nothing else to give. Nothing. Then you have this dark thing going on outside, happening early than usual. Like it’s dark at 5:30 now. I used to like this when I was younger, but now it’s as though the day has come to a close and I wait for sleep. But, no….I’ve still got 4 to 5 hours of time left to be productive. Yet I can’t. Because it’s dark!

I didn’t blog about it, but my beloved Walter died last week. Almost to the day. Walter was our family dog. A beautiful Weimaraner with gray eyes and grand stature. I picked him out of a litter of girls. He was about 5 months old…the same age as my daughter at the time. He was wearing purple nail polish on one of his nails, in order to tell him apart from the others. I was drawn to him the very moment I saw him and named him on the way home. Home…that’s when the fun began. Within a couple months, his head swelled twice the size it should be. After we got medication for this, he went lame. We stuck this out a few weeks, until he spontaneously walked again, and eventually fell into the river from the pier…in the dead of winter. What a fiasco it was with Walter. But slowly he got better, and drier, and the rest of his life was bliss. Until last summer when he was slow to walk, again. There was something going on with his legs and it only became worse. In the end, I had to walk him outside holding him up with a towel wrapped around his torso. His back legs didn’t work anymore. It was very sad. I watched as his beautiful ghost eyes told me he was too tired to move anymore. So my husband took him to the hospital and left him there. I watched as they took him on a stretcher from the back of his van. I watched from a safe distance in my car, far away, and bawled my eyes out. That morning I told him my good-byes and wept in front of him. He knew. And it was time. 13.5 years wasn’t long enough. 😦

Who is sick of politics, raise their hand!! I will be so happy when it’s over. People will Facebook others, encouraging them to vote. But what they really mean is to vote for who they want to win. If not, keep your sorry butt from going to the polls. I mean, really. And I’m super sick of all the stupidity out there. Of course whoever isn’t voting for your person, you automatically think they’re ignorant. It’s the most bizarre presidential election I’ve ever been witness to. Crazy!

I almost bought another plant this weekend. Poor thing was on the distressed rack for cheap. And it wasn’t half bad. I put it in my buggy, picked out a pot, and rode that thing around for awhile. Then I drove it back to the distressed rack and put it back. I don’t need another house plant, I declared to myself. I can’t keep up with the ones I’ve got. They drive me crazy. When did I fertilize last? Why is that one looking yellow? I’ve got enough to deal with. Oh yeah…I did buy a little one. I selectively forgot about that one. My kids made fun of it when I put it in the drink holder. Poor little guy was a dollar. It doesn’t like light, but drinks a lot. Kind of like my daughter! (I always get after her for not putting open her window shades and refilling the water pitcher).

As I finish my post, I still don’t feel any motivation reaching out to me. I look around at all that I could get done….and nothing. Maybe tomorrow. 🙂


Where’d all the Umpf go?

th3U01K3R3This week has been… challenging, to say the least. The blizzard of 2016 brought about extreme mental fatigue. When you’re cooped in, it seems like you’re in a big waiting room– wondering what to do. Because when it snows, there must be something different that’s going to happen. Right? I mean really… did the laundry suddenly stop producing itself? Did the dishes magically walk themselves into the dishwasher? And didn’t I still have deadlines to work on?

Well, no. That is questions one and two, it’s a no. But still I waited until life resumed, in order to get all these things done. Who can clean while the snow’s on the ground? We have to be able to get those kids to school before I tackle that laundry! Deadlines? No, I’ve got to wait until the last piece of ice is off the roof, to begin those silly things.

And so the week crept by. Like a snail…carrying weights…going uphill, in a blizzard.

Friday the kids had a two hour delay. Didn’t help. I slept in and felt like it was groundhog day all over again. Mind you, they’d been home six straight days. No one left the house. We couldn’t. There was too much snow. And no one to plow the driveway. Reason #208 to not live in the country. No way to get out in a weather crisis. Reason #85 is no internet. One day I’ll live where Netflix is an option, and the reason you’re late for work isn’t because you were stuck behind a combine. I’ll mention an upside, just so I don’t feel slighted living in the sticks. Reason #5 to love the country: The sky is endless. Truly, you can just lay outside, in the buff, should you want, and watch every cloud there is float by. And, not a noise to be heard. Except for that noisy rooster two houses down, or the combine coming through!

So I told myself: after this last week, I’m back on track. Going to get my stuff together. There will be no stopping me now.

If I can just make it past this weekend 🙂