Uncategorized

To Have Them or Not To Have Them…Expectations

expectationsWe get them when we’re young. They are sort of like standards. And depending how you’re raised, they become a bar in our minds of how things are supposed to be. They begin quite simply…. When you come downstairs at dinner time, will your parent have food for you, or will you forage for food alone? It’s good to not always have food waiting, that way you know what it feels like to have to find it for yourself. On a side note, I’m not proving this fact well for my children. And it could be why I’m apprehensive for my son to go to college on Monday. I’ve missed very little meals for him. Will he be able to forage alone?

Back to expectations…They get more complicated the older you get, from food to the treatment of others. Like when you visit the real world. You know, the one your mom isn’t standing at every crossroad, trying to fix it in your favor. If you’re fortunate enough to have a mom like this. Or a dad. Lest we forget them. So, you go out with a big ol’smile, expecting a lot. Maybe a job. But no. Sorry, you have no experience. You can’t get a job without experience. But how does one get experience without getting a first job? Glad no one had an expectation that would work out. Or this…you expect your spouse or friend will act a certain way about something and they end up acting the complete opposite–or in my head as I like to call it, the wrong way. Burst goes the balloon of expectations. And after a few dozen times of getting this expectation blow back, you stop expecting. Now you feel good. No more expecting something that proves never to be. The world of how you feel it should be is now lifted from your back. But now you feel let down. Not only aren’t you victim to the let-down scene anymore, but you give up hope that people will ever act the way they should…with compassion and empathy. But the haunting questions remains: If we have no faith something will work out, then why should it? On the flip side: if we leave our hearts on our sleeves, expecting the best…they will keep bleeding out when the boom of the crash comes down.

The reason for my rant is quite simply this: I tell myself I’m not going to have an expectation about something; let the chips fall where they may. I’m not expecting anything. Nothing. Then I find a speck of hope for humankind in the back pocket of my jeans. There with the lint and other threads long forgotten are, hidden from light. And it trips me up. “What the heck are you doing here, little expectation? Don’t you know you are a foe to peace and harmony? Don’t you know you are the very thing that gets me riled up and spouting off when the thing I have hope for doesn’t go through as planned in my head? Shew…go away.”

But doesn’t having expectations and living up to a standard go hand in hand? Should we give up on possessing expectations or plan better on who we reserve the expectation for? Deep thoughts….

Advertisements
Uncategorized

Thoughts about Fear and Failure

fearyI believe fear is the absence of faith. Therefore, I try my best not to have fear. But let’s face it, we all have fear. Even if it’s in small doses. It keeps us to the brighter lit paths, home instead of out past midnight, and inside the jeeps on an African safari instead out strutting with the big cats.

Fear of failure is another example.

My friend, you know…the one who’s going through some tough times? Well, it hit her today of the concept, what would she do if she knew she wouldn’t fail. I witnessed the bright light go on above her head. It wasn’t as big of a moment for me because I used to ask myself that question all the time. But lately I haven’t. So I thought a moment. It is indeed a powerful question. What would you do if you knew you wouldn’t fail? Hmmm…let’s take a moment, shall we? What came to your mind first?

The first thing that came to mine was skydiving. Wouldn’t it be the biggest rush ever? Wouldn’t you just die, jumping out of a plane…staring at the earth…wind whipping by you. As you fell!! I get butterflies just imaging it. Yep, I’d skydive. It’s just not practical in my world. It’s not as if planes come by my front door, asking every morning to give me a lift. It takes seeking out.

Maybe later.

I do act on this whole faith over fear thing, though. On a smaller scale. I mean, what can really hurt you for trying something? Asking for someone’s help…that you don’t even know. Looking at houses in a different state, feeling quite spirited about picking up and moving from all you ever knew? Quitting a job that you don’t necessarily love, and find that it’s depleting you? All the while not having the funds in the bank to support such a decision! That’s faith, baby! Faith that it’ll all work out. Okay, so that was a larger scale, wasn’t it?

Of course, you have to be urged to do something so bold. I don’t simply cry in my cereal that I hate my job and therefore will leave. I get nudges that it isn’t right. It doesn’t complete me. And when I act on faith, I feel such an enormous relief. It’s almost as if the inner peace I experience is confirmation that ‘hey, you did right!’

Skydiving? I’m still waiting on a nudge…from a bulldozer…in the direction of the airfield…where four instructors hook onto me and each have 3 parachutes a piece. Just in case my nudge was a little off that day! 🙂