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Thoughts about Fear and Failure

fearyI believe fear is the absence of faith. Therefore, I try my best not to have fear. But let’s face it, we all have fear. Even if it’s in small doses. It keeps us to the brighter lit paths, home instead of out past midnight, and inside the jeeps on an African safari instead out strutting with the big cats.

Fear of failure is another example.

My friend, you know…the one who’s going through some tough times? Well, it hit her today of the concept, what would she do if she knew she wouldn’t fail. I witnessed the bright light go on above her head. It wasn’t as big of a moment for me because I used to ask myself that question all the time. But lately I haven’t. So I thought a moment. It is indeed a powerful question. What would you do if you knew you wouldn’t fail? Hmmm…let’s take a moment, shall we? What came to your mind first?

The first thing that came to mine was skydiving. Wouldn’t it be the biggest rush ever? Wouldn’t you just die, jumping out of a plane…staring at the earth…wind whipping by you. As you fell!! I get butterflies just imaging it. Yep, I’d skydive. It’s just not practical in my world. It’s not as if planes come by my front door, asking every morning to give me a lift. It takes seeking out.

Maybe later.

I do act on this whole faith over fear thing, though. On a smaller scale. I mean, what can really hurt you for trying something? Asking for someone’s help…that you don’t even know. Looking at houses in a different state, feeling quite spirited about picking up and moving from all you ever knew? Quitting a job that you don’t necessarily love, and find that it’s depleting you? All the while not having the funds in the bank to support such a decision! That’s faith, baby! Faith that it’ll all work out. Okay, so that was a larger scale, wasn’t it?

Of course, you have to be urged to do something so bold. I don’t simply cry in my cereal that I hate my job and therefore will leave. I get nudges that it isn’t right. It doesn’t complete me. And when I act on faith, I feel such an enormous relief. It’s almost as if the inner peace I experience is confirmation that ‘hey, you did right!’

Skydiving? I’m still waiting on a nudge…from a bulldozer…in the direction of the airfield…where four instructors hook onto me and each have 3 parachutes a piece. Just in case my nudge was a little off that day! 🙂

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Feeling Sorry for the Underdog

tumblr_l9yc75zSID1qc2cblo1_500As I watched the presidential “thing” in Iowa last night, it was sad to hear the news of some of the candidates dropping out. Of course they would be silly not to with numbers in the single digits, but still….

Isn’t it sad to see someone lose? You consider all the hopes that went into whatever they were trying to achieve, only to be staring down the barrel of rejection. It’s impossible not to take it personal, if you’re in that position, but it’s the way of the world. Regardless of who I want to win, someone has to lose and it’s just sad.

When I’m watching a football game (trust me, it doesn’t happen often), I feel bad for the losers. They had just as much hope as the winners, and now they have to go home having lost.

When a new store opens and fails, I drive by with a frown, shaking my head. Not that I ever needed dried herbs or monkey beads, (that’s why I personally never paid patronage), but it’s someone’s hopes and dreams dashed.

I was raised with the philosophy that emotions were a sign of weakness. That’s probably why, for the most of my life, I was emotionless. Whatever. I didn’t care. I grew a callus over my true thoughts and went on about life. And I guess it shields you from disappointment, but doesn’t that chip away at humanity? If no one cared, what would be the gain?

So, for those that lost last night, I feel for your loss. A hope circled the drain and finally disappeared. For all the failed businesses, at least you tried. Not many can say they did even that.

With my debut book releasing this month, I sure hope I can take the bad reviews. Because let’s face it, they will happen. Books are so subjective. Someone isn’t going to like that I hooked someone up with that guy, or why did I write this way or that? But at least I finished the book and put it out there to take whatever comes. At least I’m that brave! (Wish me luck 🙂

Is it really this month that the book releases? Oh. My. Gosh. Am I really sure about this?

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