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Hurtful, Nasty Reminders

reminderReminders are usually for our benefit, right? Like when your gas light comes on it means, get gas. For me, it signals I’ve got 100 more miles to go. I am famous for pushing it to the last fume to get me to the pumps. One day I will regret passing the ten stations to find the one with five cents cheaper per gallon. (I know, it isn’t that much, but still). Or the reminder that your car insurance is getting taken out automatically from your account tomorrow. Which signals me to go by the bank and put it in! But there are a few reminders that one does not need. i.e….

Yesterday I received a card in the mail from the veterinarian. It had a heartfelt note in it of condolences for my dog that passed away a couple weeks ago. Yes, I was finally getting to the point where I didn’t break down once a day. Like when I go and look for his bed, or check outside to see if he’s lying in the sun. It’s finally becoming bearable. Not forgettable, by any stretch, but doable. And then the card. Which I opened while driving the kids up the driveway. And there it was…they sent Walter’s paw print along with the written sentiment. OMG. Why? Why now? I shoved it back in the envelope and took a deep breath. I’m still thinking about it.

Here’s another example of a hurtful reminder: When the lovely people behind Facebook send you a memory of your cheating husband as he kisses you on the cheek. Ah yes, that was just six months ago…before my friend’s rat turd husband cheated on her. And there she gets a reminder of better times. Or when you get a snap shot of your family member who passed away, and you’re not quite over that one, either.

Reminders….not always a good thing. 😩

On a happy note, because I need to always leave on one…I’m back to writing my new book. I’m feeling pretty good about it, too. Who wouldn’t like to imagine Kevin Costner all day? And be able to have him say the sweetest things to your heroine…which you imagine is yourself? LOL!! I’m down with it! 🙂

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Cheaters

cheatersSo, what’s your take on cheaters? Harsh label, huh? I felt kind of judgmental just typing it. But, that’s what it is, right? Cheating.

I’m writing about cheating in my new book and I’ve got to tell you, the topic has cropped up in conversations more than once before  with my friends. One is a professed cheater. She knew it was wrong, but the situation presented itself, and she crossed the line of integrity…honesty, and morality. Which begs the question, is it situational or do you think it’s somewhat of a person’s makeup? Whether it be environmental or chemical. Like alcoholism. No matter what, the person can’t stay committed to one person. My other friend is like this; she’s a habitual cheater. It doesn’t concern her that she’s exclusive with someone, if another cuter guy walks into the room, she becomes single. Who could trust a person like this? Sadly, the guy never knows until it’s too late that she’s made up this way. And furthermore, is the cheater capable of changing? Capable of being reformed? Can they ever be trusted again? It’s not like we can do a scientific truth study. We can’t tag their ears and follow them like bears in the wild. And, who can trust what they say to be true?

In the book I’m writing, the girl has no trust issues with her cheater. She figures it was a one time thing and it won’t happen anymore. But, if you were the one who was cheated on, could you ever trust that person again? I don’t think I could. Even the one friend who it was situational, she’s done it once… what makes you think she wouldn’t again? And, what about everyone for that matter? Isn’t everyone capable of it? What separates someone from crossing the line? A vow? I suppose if the vow means what it should. Some people even think that if your thoughts veer toward someone else, it’s the same as cheating. Is anyone that pure not to have one solitary impure thought about someone other than their significant other?

I read a news story where the secretary was suing her employer for being fired. His response was that if she continued to work there it might jeopardize his fidelity to his wife. If I’m not mistaken, I think he won the suit. Crazy how truthful he was. I’m not sure how I’d feel as his spouse. Hmm…he was attracted enough to fire the lady? Does that mean he’s less attracted to me? Of course that’s what I’d think. Not, bravo for clearing that explosive possibility. What a slippery slope!

My boyfriend’s point of view is that you choose to cheat. Well, sure, that’s true enough. But, isn’t there sometimes an element of accident in it, too? I’m certainly not condoning the accidental theory, just presenting it as a viewpoint.

Any thoughts?

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