Worst Party Ever

Yep, the other guy of the house jumped from the nest yesterday. He asks as he leaves me at the side of my car to return home, “does it get any easier?” Uh, no. Well, actually a little. I mean that first time I had to leave him was horrible. It was way worse than that horrid first day at preschool. He screamed so loud, I could hear him from the parking lot. No, this was leaving him in a strange place, 2 hours away from my house. Three years later, it has gotten a smidge easier. It doesn’t clobber me until I get home. And hear the silence, see the empty rooms of where my first little boys have slept for years. One left his bedroom neat; one looks like he left in a hurry and then a robber came in and tossed the furniture and pulled out all the drawers. I love their differences.

So why do we love pity parties? They are the worst. Change is hard. It sometimes has grief woven through it. A few of my kids have come to me and said their legs hurt so bad, they couldn’t sleep. Within a few months, they’ve shot up two inches. Change is painful. It comes with markers–the empty house, the lower electric bills, less food to prepare, lighter laundry baskets. Change is good. At least for some in the equation. For me, I move on in this house with less people that I enjoy their company so much. For them, they flex their wings, step into another world where they call the shots (hopefully the good ones), and experience things needed to prepare them for the next big change.

I’ll survive. I’ll be okay. It’s the sting of the day after that I get most sad. Alas, there are a few others in the nest I have to tend to. For now. When the day comes that my nest is empty….who knows what kind of party that’s going to look like. 🙂



The End

Sometimes….if you really like how something’s going…’The End’ can be some of the saddest words to see or hear. For me, it’s bittersweet to see Sarah’s story come to a close. Of course she will live on in the blank pages that are yet to be, if ever, written. However, for now it’s good-bye.

Release day, January 4, 2018. Sounds a little like Star Trek when I read it aloud! Anyway, what will happen? Will Sarah spark again with Sam? Will Liz ever settle down? Can Carter make it through another year without going back with Paige? And will Maggie and Michael’s marriage survive? What about that new neighbor….what’s his name? Oh right, you haven’t met him yet. Well grab yourself a copy of “Falling For Sarah” and let me know what you think of him. Is he a contender for Sarah’s happily ever after? Or, is he like all the other men in her life and comes with a boat load of baggage?

I’m tickled and waiting on pins and needles to hear what everyone thinks! Finally it has closure. What so many of you wanted and deserved. I apologize for making you wait this long. 🙂 I promise, no more of that in my upcoming releases. Cliff hangers stop with Sarah. Girl scout honor! (Yeah, I was never really one, but it always sounds so official and meaningful to include it in a declaration).

I assume everyone had a fabulous ringing in of the New Year. What does ringing in the New Year even mean? Are bells involved? I used to, many years ago, watch Dick Clark and wait for that ball to drop. Listen to the bands play and laugh as I sat in my warm home watching all the cold bodies in New York, freezing their butts off, blowing smoke when they talked. Where do they all go to the bathroom? Seriously? Have you ever pondered it before? They’re all drinking for Pete’s sake, and come on…no one can hold it that long. I’m pretty sure they don’t have potties on the street for this, and even if they did, how could you even maneuver to get to one? Someone said today when we were discussing it, (yes we were) that they were certainly going somewhere. Eww…

Okay, on to resolutions. Isn’t that the second question to “What gym did you join” that comes after the first of January? The only resolution I’ve made thus far is to delete emails. I hoard no where else in my life except for yahoo mail. I’ve got so many emails that the counter has stopped counting. I’m horrible with the delete button. I read and move on. Or not and still move on. So this year I plan to delete. So far I’ve done it one and a half days. We’re on day three I realize, so I’m not doing so bad.

Last year I, as many others do, found a word that threaded through my entire year and had profound meaning. It was preparedness. And wherever my life went it seemed as though preparedness was looming. I felt compelled to prepare for many things. And so I did. And so I needed to. This year my word was change. It’s a year of change. As you may know I’m adopting a little girl. If that’s not enough change right there, I don’t know what else is. But three days into the new year and I’ve been met with even more profound change in my family. And I’m okay with it. Change is change. Change can be good. At least if I’m looking for good I’ll find it, right? We’ve sort of torn up our basement changing things around. And eerily I’m okay with that, too. I’m upside down in my organization, but all right. (I’ll keep you posted of my attitude as things get lost).

So Happy New Year my dear friends. Ring in the change that we know will come with a happy heart. And remember, if we don’t have change, we have the same. And don’t you want a little change? Life isn’t meant to be a groundhog day. 🙂


In The Blink of an Eye

timeYou ever go on a job interview , and the guy or girl asked what you saw yourself doing in 5 years? When I was younger I thought, “boy, who knows…that’s a long time to think about.” Today…not so long.

I was driving to work this morning and I was letting my mind wander to five years from now. Of course anything could happen; I know this. But say I had the fortune of everything running smoothly in my life—what would I see myself doing? Hmmm…

Anyone who knows me, knows how restless I am. We don’t know the reason why, but merely accept that I don’t like the grass growing too long beneath my feet. And another five years would put me ten years total in my current house. TEN YEARS!! Okay, that scared me. Ten years? Have I stayed anywhere for longer than seven? Seven year itch, right?

Then I thought, three of my children will have graduated school—one even from college. OMG. That leaves only two. Two? That seemed like nothing. Who knows how to cook for only four? I could even trade in my glorious, rockin’ minivan for a real vehicle. I’ve already gotten rid of all the car seats. But, I digress. So there I was driving and thinking and I realized I wanted to move. Really move. Like in out of state. I’ve always wanted to. Why not? So there it is. There’s my “what will I be doing in five years?” plan. It might take six, but no more than that.

I was so excited with the thought of a change. I worked all day with a serene smile on my face, and came home tonight and announced it. I told my 9 and 7 year olds that we would indeed not be seeing them graduate from the county where we currently resided. They could’ve cared less. Whatever. I suppose they think I’m all talk, or perhaps they don’t care at the moment. After all, what does five years mean to them? Luckily, it means all the time in the world. To me—it’s a blink of the eye.


New Year, Same Resolution


Isn’t it the time when everyone is preparing their New Year’s resolutions?

“I’m going to lose weight.” (Can’t wait for all the Jenny Craig commercials to air); “I’m going to pay off that credit card and never charge it again.” (Can’t wait for all the debt consolidation commercials); or “I’m going to say ‘no’ when I don’t want to do something. (I’d love to see what marketing people could do with that one!)

Let’s face it, do we ever make it to February and stick to the plan? Is it even a plan? Or do we just spout out a couple lofty ideas; the same ones we said last January 1st and never did those either?

January is such the month for pipe dreams. I guess at least people nationally get to thinking about goals about the same time. I’d just be curious if a poll were done, who actually made it to December having completed said goal. How many gym memberships are purchased in the first month with a full year of regular visits?

I used to get all serious on the eve of January, holding my champagne glass ready to announce the profound resolution I would commit to. And if any naysayers were in the group I’d cast the evil eye upon them and judge them for all their pessimism and cowardliness, but I’ll have to admit it—I’ve become the dirty rotten naysayer the last few years. What do they say the definition of insanity is? —Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result? Yep, that’s me. How can someone get thin when they eat dessert after every meal? Okay, so I’ll skip dessert after breakfast and lunch:) That should help!

Seriously though, I began hearing myself saying the same thing— I’m going to pay those cards off and budget myself. No more seeing a deposit in the bank and heading off to the stores. Before you know it, BAM, it’s November and the balance hasn’t budged. Yay, I paid interest all year. So what. I’ve got to get serious about it. But how? I think I’ll do the envelope trick. Put money in envelopes that are for specific things. If it has no money in it, I simply don’t get that item. Problem solved. (I’ll keep you posted on progress).

Now for the losing weight part. I have to do something drastic to inflict change. I want to feel air between my waistband and stomach. I think I’ll cut out bread. I’ve heard good things about this. And I will try my hardest not to eat dessert EVERY night. Maybe twice a week. All right, three max. (I’ll just make it really good on those nights and bad on the nights I get nothing)

There we go, a plan! This year as I raise my champagne glass— who am I kidding? I’ll be in bed with one eye open, watching the ball drop, drinking the last sip of tea from my cup. — anyway, I’ll be much more resolved in shouting (whispering) my resolutions (to no one listening). Naysayer no more:)