I was particularly grumpy today. I’ve been that way for the last week or so. Why is it that most parents I talk to, all agree that after their kids go to sleep, they feel the need to stay up late and enjoy the alone time? It’s like I’m one-eyed until midnight…barely hanging on, but continuing the fight of sleep, just so I can be by myself. Doing nothing really. The mere idea of being alone keeps me awake. “Hey, I can eat ice cream and read magazines while watching movies until the light of day if I want! And no one can stop me. No one will ask for a spoonful, to change the channel, or why I’m not in the kitchen stirring up a meal. Nope, it’s just me. Me, me, me!!!”
It doesn’t help that I have a promotional month with all the movie channels. I flip and watch, flip and watch…until I’m comatose. Then morning comes and I’m a bear. A real, live bear. My boyfriend is the total opposite. If he doesn’t sleep, he can still function. He can put a new roof on a house, dig a ditch, and paint the barn. Whatever. Now deny him food and it’s a new story. Bear claws will be seen. It’s a good thing we aren’t alike in this manner. Food is a “whatever” for me. I can starve, eat a ritz cracker, and be fine to carry on.
Why do I continue to do it? I know morning is coming. It comes the same time (about) each day. I’m staring at the clock, watching the minutes tick by, and still I make a conscious decision to stay awake. I know! Maybe I’ll set all the clocks back a bit. Like anyone will know they’re getting a head start to slumber. I just might try it. Then I have a fighting chance to get in bed before midnight. And people around me the next day are a little more at ease. 🙂