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Heartbroken on Valentine’s Day

We all know that Valentine’s Day and me aren’t friends. Haven’t been for years. It just always turned out to be a crap day. Even when I did have a legitimate Valentine. It’s like Cupid circles my head and shoots flaming darts. But this one…this day started out fine. I finally remembered the cookies for my daughter’s school party. The teachers have only been after me all week. Yesterday they stapled a reminder…stapled! a reminder to her backpack. Then left another note inside her binder. I get it! Cookies. Anyway, I remembered. Then I set out and got everyone close to me a valentine, some fashion of a sweet, and a little $5 nothing. But something, really. I got my daughter a musical on DVD, my son these beans he collects. (They have magnets inside). And yada, yada, yada. I went in late to work, scored a free lunch, and went home to have a wonderful dinner made for yours truly. Whew, I made it. Then a few things happened, or as we know it, Cupid shot the first flame. First, my daughter confided that everyone in her homeroom got a carnation, some even 2 or 3, and she was the ONLY one who got nothing. None. Who does this? Why can’t the teacher read on the sheet who is getting one, have extras, and make sure no one leaves the room without one? Nope. So there my little girl sported around all day without a flower. She said she seriously could have cared less. Right. But alas, there is NOTHING I can do to right that wrong. Valentine’s Day is going to become one less rocking day to her, as well. Then my littlest boy comes to me and hands me 3 Valentine’s cards he received. 3. Not one of those homemade shoe boxes you used to make to hold the 20 that would come, but 3. He’s in the 5th grade, so you’re not asked to exchange them. In fact, they didn’t even send out a sheet with a list of names. And he didn’t want to give any–he’s a boy. And so it hit me. Hard. This is his last year in elementary school. The last time it will even be an option. (let me wipe the tears as I continue to write). My kids are growing up too fast. Way too fast. Said daughter will get her driver’s permit next month. Where does this leave me? I’ll tell you where. In a fetal position, crying my eyes out, surrounded by scrap books of all my little babies. Is this what empty nest feels like? Aren’t we supposed to be waiting until they fly out?        Nope.

I think I need to give serious thought to admitting I can’t live here anymore. For health reasons of not tolerating the cold, I must leave. I must find a place closer to the sun, with a dash of salt water, and lots of warm air. Like lots. It’s getting worse the older I become. Scratching ice off my windshield each morning, wearing layers like an onion, and practically sitting on a space heater at my desk is getting old. Way old. What happened to global warming? When is it happening? I can take a month of cold. Tops. After Christmas it needs to snap back to a cool spring of 6 months. Why can’t this be done? For crying out loud.

Oh yeah, I suffered through strep throat last week. Um, don’t ever want to do that again. Luckily no one caught it. I stayed in bed for 3 days. So unlike me. Even my bones were crying to stand up again. It was awful. This is what it felt like when I swallowed.No joke.

I’m gearing up for my book release, and writing my next book at the same time. It’s amazing how I can catch such a tailwind of writing, then sit down for a second and wonder, “where is this thing going?” And that my friend is the intercom calling for WRITER’S BLOCK. Never ask yourself where this is going. Just drive. The story will find its destination just fine. So, I’m off to not ask myself any questions, not ponder how my littles are growing up, and not thinking twice about adding another pair of socks or sweater to my already 2 layers. Peace out and have a great weekend!

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