Black-bearDoes anyone believe that dreams have meanings? To a certain extent I believe dreams are an extension of your subconscious. Things that you are scared to do in real life or things on your mind during the daylight hours, tend to pop up in unusual dreams. I don’t, therefore, look for symbolism in a dream in which I’m going to a party and having a good time. I embrace the getaway and wake up refreshed the next day. However, when I dream of something you’d find being described in a conversation with a psychiatrist, I take note.

Last spring I dreamed of a white bull. It was at the end of a street. I was a block away from it and could feel my insides quake when I saw air blow from its nostrils. I knew I couldn’t outrun it, and usually I’m the type that collapses in fear rather than run, but I took off. The more I felt the muscles in my legs burn, the less I heard its hooves on the pavement behind me. I turned to see it not chasing me. Then I woke up. Turns out white bulls are a sign of wealth! Perhaps I wish it had chased me:) Ironically speaking, we are now getting a white bull. Coincidence?

So last night, I dreamed someone gave me a black bear to carry on my back. At first I didn’t think I was able to carry it, but as soon as I hoisted it up around my shoulders, it was actually comfortable. Warm, even. I carried this little electric blanket, breathing, terror everywhere I went. I walked these weird paths with two other faceless people, searching for someone. I didn’t really know who. My sister? Anyway, when I went into places I became nervous, almost freaking out that people would see this bear and they wouldn’t understand. They’d think I was strange, try to take it away, or hurt it in some way. On the contrary, when I confronted my first situation with strangers no one saw it. No one flinched, looked over my shoulder, or waivered from staring  me in the eyes. Didn’t they see it?

The longer the time I had with it the more it’d become my security … my baby. Yes! I even felt it was like my baby. Something I had to guard and protect. Weird, huh? It never occurred to me to wonder why it couldn’t walk itself. Or where was I taking it to?

I looked it up when I awoke this morning and the consistent meaning I found was it represented fear. I suppose that would make sense why no one could see it. Now I guess I need to wonder about what I’m fearing. Why couldn’t I have dreamed of being a racecar driver or something fun? These deep thoughts are too much for a Sunday morning!

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